started with a lie ➳ raura revised

Chapter Forty-Eight

September continues no matter what condition my heart is in. That's life.

"And so, if you remove the nucleus of the cerebral membrane of a proton, what do you think happens?" my physics professor asks. "What would be the rate of it happening, given the right circumstances?" 

I am doodling circles over and over on the corner of my notebook, my face pressed into the palm of my hand as I lean lazily on the desk. Lee hasn't spoken to me since the dinner. The only place I see him is on celebrity news with Penny. More public outings and things like that. Can't say it doesn't bite each time I see it.

In a way, what happened at that restaurant is a good thing. I can let go of him more easily if he gives me a reason to hate him. Sometimes, I wonder if that's why he did it. But then I realize I shouldn't give him so much credit. He could have also genuinely just have doubted me and never trusted me. It's easier to hate him.

"Laura?"

I jolt up, pen flying out of my hand. "Yes, professor?"

The slightly older man puts his hands behind his back. "We're going around the room trying to guess what happens to a molecule if you amplify its protons. What is your input?"

Shit.

Unlike high school, there is nothing that can save me. No bell signaling the end of class. The professor determines the dismissal here. Other students don't dare interrupt the professor in any way. It's my fault for spacing out anyway. This class costs money and I'm throwing it down the drain by thinking about stupid things.

I shamefully look down. "Sorry, sir, I wasn't paying attention."

He doesn't reprimand me. He lets me sink on my own, which is embarrassingly worse. All he does is clear his throat and moves onto the next person. "Stacy?"

When class finally does let out, I take a breath of air outside, rubbing my hands together against the slow chill that's been slithering into the daily weather. It's been a rough week—hell, it's been a rough month. I'm disappointed in myself for not trying harder.

"Laura!"

I grin just at the voice. One person has kept me sane.

Looking up, I wave. Daniel jogs over to me, two drinks in his hand, and his breath visible in the air due to the cold. I already know one of them is for me. He's wearing a cream, thick sweater and jeans. I've noticed Daniel loves big sweaters but he never wears coats. I disapprove.

"Daniel," I reprimand, "where is your coat?"

He stands in front of me, handing me my usual hot chocolate. Daniel always comes around when my physics class ends since his literature class ends fifteen minutes earlier close by. He always brings me something to eat or drink. "I hate coats," he answers, his cheeks red as apples.

We walk together and I nudge him with my shoulder. "You need a coat. It's getting colder. Wouldn't want you getting a cold, would we?"

Daniel takes a sip of his coffee, readjusts his glasses, and grins at me. "Aw, you're worried about you, aren't you?" I smirk. "Well, how else would I get access to unlimited hot chocolate?"

His face drops along with his jaw. "Cruel to the bone!"

We walk a couple more minutes before going down into the subway. It's busy and cramped due to it being near the time everyone comes home from work or school. I almost lose Daniel in the stifling setting but I see his big wooly sweater and take his hand before I do. He looks back and his cheeks are a bit red—from the cold is what I tell myself—and he squeezes my hand back.