started with a lie ➳ raura revised

Chapter Thirty-Five

"Well? What is it?"

I feel blood rushing through my ears and I look away from his curious eyes. I will end up giving in and just pushing it o until later. If I don't tell him now, he'll hate me when he finds out from someone else. And even if right now is a bad time, later will be even worse. I know from experience.

"It's Tracy...," I begin. I can do this. I can. "She's...."

"Tracy? She's what?" Ross still looks dazed and dizzy but seems to realize something's wrong because he scrunches his eyebrows together, sobering up. He wipes his face of the drying tears.

"She, uh, I, erm," I stammer. I stand abruptly. "I need some water, if you'll excuse me." I itch my neck and fake a cough. "Throat's kind of dry. You can have some moments to yourself too if you need it. I'll be back though. "

Ross looks even more confused but he nods and sits back into the couch. I am walking across the living room when he calls my name, "Laura?"

I halt and I swear I feel myself sweating. Slowly, I turn. "Yeah?"

His face is serious for a long time—well, I think it's a long time but I don't know because I'm too busy panicking that he probably already knows and is just messing with me before he breaks up with me for being a shit girlfriend to him—but then I breathe a sigh of relief when his face transforms into a sly smirk. "Why don't you go feed your cat too?"

My eyebrows raise. "My cat? I don't have a—oh."

He knows something is up.

"Y-Yeah," I stutter, my hands flailing towards the kitchen. "I'll go do that. Ha-ha, good joke, Ross!" I think I say it too enthusiastically because he tilts his head to the side in that Ross way and I know he's seconds away from asking what really is wrong. "Be right back!" And then I run to the kitchen and as soon as I'm away from his eyes, I lean down on my knees and do some breathing exercises. I must look like a moron.

Get a fucking grip, Laura! I yell to myself. You're going to lose him no matter what you do but at least don't lie to the guy. Enough of that. I know my conscience is right. Either way I will end up losing him. It doesn't matter if the child is his or not. He has a company, a future, a life he has to keep moving on. His mother to take care of. Tracy. I'm just a girl and I have nothing but my love for him. He needs more than what I can o er.

Responsibility will come first for Ross. It's why I love him. And it's why I'll support any decision he makes, even if I don't want him to make any.

I stand, pace around for a couple minutes. I jump up and down lightly a couple times like I'm some pro wrestler about to head into the ring and then I walk out of the kitchen.

"Ross Lynch," I say, walking towards him and looking at the floor, "Tracy is pregnant."

I breathe a sigh of relief after I say it because at least I don't have to worry about that anymore. But then I almost throw a lamp because in front of me, Ross is already asleep, his knees tucked into his chest as he rests his head on the arm of the sofa. He looks like a small child.

"Not again," I mutter, smacking my forehead with my hand. "Damn it!" I kick the coffee table in frustration and take a seat beside him.

He stirs in his sleep but doesn't wake. "Loo-ra-h," he mumbles, my name mashed up in his sleep. Ross's hair has grown longer and slightly slips into his forehead. I do the ultimate while-your-significant-other-is-sleeping move and push it back, running my hands through his hair more than necessary. His hair is so and smells like vanilla with some spice.