Formerly Yours

Chapter Four

I know it's been a while! I don't know why thought I would have more time the second half this semester- I've hardly had any. Here's a new chapter. I'm sorry it's not as long as the others. I don't really feel like it's as well written either, but I wanted to get it out there so here you go. Thanks for being patient with me! 

Comment/Vote Please :)

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CHAPTER FOUR

After my interesting run in with Braiden, the rest of the school day proceeded in typical fashion. In other words, I completed my assignments and read my books to pass the stung-out minutes before the final bell of the day rang, releasing me from my last period Calculus, before I was finally able to escape Mayville high in my beat-up chevy pick up truck.

As I unlocked the door of my gold gas-guzzling truck, I couldn’t help but sighed to myself as I crawled into my seat and chunked my schoolbag into the back seat.

Freedom, finally. 

I live for the weekends simply for the fact that they provide me with 48 hours to do what I pleased. This weekend I wanted to run my 5 mile loop a few times, finish my new favorite mystery novel, and spend some time hanging out with Kelsey.

After watching several Big Bang Theory re-runs on TV, I began dinner. Cooking is one of my hobbies; I’ve always loved baking and experimenting with new foods. As it’s only the three of us living in our house and my parents don’t have time to cook with work, my parents are, by default, my guinea pigs to experiment upon with my creations. It’s a system that we’ve had in place since I was in middle school—I cook dinner and my parents clean up the dishes. You see, if it were up to me, I would be attending a culinary school in the fall to become a chef and open my own restaurant one day. Opening my own restaurant has been my dream since I was 5. Until I was 12 I wanted to go to France for college to become a chef. That was obliviously before reality hit and I realized that I was essentially doomed to live in Mayville for the rest of my life. It was before I realized that, in this patriarchal society where women were subordinate to men (it’s the wolfy way, of course), I’d be lucky if I got to even be a chef much less own my own restaurant.

The truth is, if my parents weren’t my parents or I didn’t love them I would get the hell out of here and wouldn’t think twice about dishonoring them. In fact, as soon as they keel over I will be out of here. But that will be a while. Werewolves live for a freaking long time. So, essentially I will probably work as a waitress for the next 40 years. Then I will get out of here. Finally.

In werewolf society, most people don’t have the same problem as I. Most wolves are accepted by their mates (as I’ve mentioned before, rejected mates are practically unheard of), and, while most couples prefer to stay with their packs most of the time, it’s not unheard of for mates to go on vacations abroad for periods of time unless they hold a high position in the pack.

Braiden didn’t accept me as my mate, but even if he had I wouldn’t have been able to go abroad to college or anything with him. Even unmated, I can’t stand to be far from him. Sometimes I wonder if I would have wanted to give up my dream if I were with Braiden. I wonder if I would have just been happy because I was with him where ever we were. But that’s irrelevant. I’ll never know the answer to those sorts of things.

 Glancing into my reflection in the glass door of the oven as I closed it to bake the chicken cordon bleu I was preparing for dinner, I could see my eyes beginning to darken. I wasn’t surprised. My wolf gets upset every time I think of Braiden.

Most people’s eyes remain the same color when they shift into their wolf—mine don’t.

Instead of the cat-like green of my eyes, my wolf’s eyes are black. Black from rejection; black because of Braiden. They’re black because my wolf is depressed and angry. She is pissed as hell at Braiden, but, like me, she has an irrevocable attraction to him despite how much he has ruined our life. It’s kind of sadistic if you ask me—loving the one who has hurt you most, but it’s the way I am.

I’d say I’ve done an excellent job of hiding this from my parents. I haven’t shifted around them since I first shifted on my 16th birthday a little over 2 years ago. Kelsey and my friends all think that my eyes always been black when I shift, and I’ve never shifted in front of any other adults or members of our pack who would notice such a striking detail like that and immediately call me out on my secret.

My wolf is also larger than most of the other female wolves of my pack. Everyone assumes it’s because my father is third in command; I know it’s because my mate is an alpha. That’s another reason I don’t shift in front of others. The only problem I have yet to encounter is that once high school finishes in 6 months, I’ll have to shift in front of others because I’ll have guard duty. I’m still not sure how I’m going to pull that off, but I’m determined to do so. I’d be mortified if anyone found out our secret.