Better Off Without You || H.S.

riGht iN thE feEELLSS! part two

enJOY THE SECOND PART AHAHA, it's still in her point of view ...

Today, you turn 22.

It's been awhile since I've heard your voice and laugh.

I miss hearing you talk at night. I miss being able to tell you anything and the way you can tell me anything. I miss the way you laughed whenever I messed up with something and the way I laughed at you. I miss when we could laugh together. I miss your laugh and voice.

It's hard without you.

It's hard just to wake up knowing there's a piece inside of me thats gone forever. It's hard to just go through my daily life knowing I can't say hello, can't say good night, can't just be with you like we used to.

Can't see you.

I never want to forget about you. Being forgotten is my worst fear so I wouldn't do that to you.

Remember how we first met? How awkward we were? You remember, don't lie.

Just pause and think about it.

We didn't click at first, but when we did, I knew we'd be friends forever.

Did you know I buy you a cake every year? I buy your favorite flavor every year. Do you ever see it? Do you see me?

I hope you do.

You changed my outlook on life, making me believe there are good things out there for me.

Yet... you left me alone.

I can't blame you though. Never your fault.

Today, you turn 22.

Today, just like the last two years, I sit in this dark apartment we were suppose to share.
It has a window bench and a beautiful view. I saved up because I knew you'd want it.

I sit in this dimly lit apartment with a small cake in front of me with 'Happy birthday and welcome home!' with your name after that written in blue icing.
It has a candle with '22' on it, lit.

One day.

One day, you'd come home.

One day, we can laugh and smile together in the apartment we spoke of when we were 15 and 16.

I'll wait for you.

I'd wait for you forever to come back home and you know that.

Maybe not in this life or the next, but one day, right?

Forever is a long time.

But maybe you're waiting for me, too.

I blow out the candles, blanketing the room in darkness. I leave it there, pretending you're coming home late and you'll see it eventually. Pretending that you're out there somewhere, just taking your time to come back. I fall asleep.

I wake up the next day and drag myself out of bed and grab the warm cake with the slightly melted frosting and put it into the trash, not looking back. Of course, I'm used to it.

I place your gifts into a box and store it for when I see you again. I walk back into my room to face today with a bright smile, but who knows what I'm really feeling, right?

I miss you. It's been five years.

How long will it take you?

Well, that's okay. I'd wait forever for you if I need to.

Yesterday, you turned 22.