It has been a month and a half. And I had not heard from Dan, or even looked at a picture of him. I threw them all in a trash bin next to the kitchen. But I don't think I'm ready to throw them out completely, they just kind of sit there. And I struggle everyday not to look at them.
I've forgotten what Dan Howell looks like.
After years of memorizing his face, and watching him grow. I just don't remember what he looks like. I remember what he sounds like, because I've spent years hearing him talk through the wall and to me. But after months of not looking at him once, Who's Dan Howell?
"Howell..." I say the surname over and over, trying to remember how it sounds.
"Dan Howell.." The name rolls off my tongue like nothing. I slump my shoulders.
I eat grapes with a fork in my room, listening to "Ruby" by Twenty Øne Pilots. I sink into the sheets towards the end of the song where Tyler screams "you're an angel" and I feel my heart beating against the pillow.
It's about time that I stop this and go outside, but I never want to leave my bed.
On the other hand, Alfie invited me to his place for a part or something with the specific words, 'Don't bring your expensive belongings.' Whatever that means.
But that's until later. For right now, I'm going to watch a classic Disney film. Or whatever comes on the TV. I flip through channels and stop on a movie that is almost too familiar.
"We've picked up a slight irregularity in the magnetic containment field."
Dan's voice fills the room and I feel myself almost in tears as I watch the rest of Big Hero 6. Now I remember what he sounds like. I hug my pillow tightly and watch through.
I look over at the clock and it's almost 6:30, so I assume I should start getting ready. I put on my blue plaid button-down and black skinny jeans, along with black shoes. And not to forget, Party glasses >:]
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I grab a batch of grapes and quietly feed myself them like how the kings used to get fed grapes. Yeah, I'm creative. And a king 👑.
I look at the clock and decide that now it's time to leave. I open the door, whilst grabbing my phone and keys and putting them into my pockets.
Walking down the street to call an Uber because my certain block is causing traffic.
I call an Uber from the end of the street and wait for it to arrive. Once it does, I get in and put in my earphone to pass the time.
