PAYBACK » Zarry ✔

Two

It's been two months. Zayn and Harry sit in a restaurant across from two of Harry's old friends, Randy and Sarah. They were at Harry's celebration dinner two and a half years ago when he first opened the firm. It's a double date and also Harry's idea.

"Firm still going great?" Randy asks.

"It's going very well." Harry says. "I have no complaints about it."

"And you have Zayn here who's helped you all the way through."

"Yep."

"It's amazing how you two are still together after so long though." Sarah says. "Harry, when are you going to marry him? It's been three years."

Zayn looks hopeful over at Harry who glances at him. "No rush. I love him. He knows that."

Zayn slowly exhales. Yes, he knows that. But he still wants to marry Harry. He wants a husband and he wants that husband to be Harry. Harry is the man he wants a family with but not until he marries him.

"Aw, as long as Zayn is okay with that, I guess."

Zayn only stares across the table at her. When he doesn't say a word, he feels a hand pat his thigh underneath the table. He comes out of his trance. "Oh, I'm okay. We live together and we love each other. That's all that matters right now."

Randy chuckles. "Yeah. This one here has got me wrapped around her finger." He gestures his head toward his wife. "She's somethin'. But she's also the only one for me."

Zayn smiles. He wishes he was the only one for Harry. But apparently he isn't enough.

The rest of the night flashes by and Zayn does not enjoy himself. That night, he stands outside in the backyard and smokes a cigarette. He stands there for so long that Harry comes out of the house to see what's wrong before he goes to bed.

"Zayn?"

He faces him but doesn't say anything.

"How many cigarettes have you smoked, babe?"

He's ashamed of himself. "Three."

Harry walks up to him and takes the cigarette from him before throwing it on the ground and smashing it under his foot. "What's wrong now?"

Zayn sighs. He's been really good about shutting up. But tonight is on his mind and he can't help it anymore. "Why am I not enough for you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... why don't you want to marry me anymore?"

Harry chuckles. "What are you talking about? I do want to marry you. Just not now."

"And why not? If you love me, I'd rather you marry me and show me. I'm not satisfied, Harry. I'm not satisfied with just being with you. I love you. I want kids... A family. With you."

Harry scratches his head and he can't look more disinterested in this conversation than he already does. "Zayn, we talked about this. I don't know when we're gonna do all that. Besides, I don't even know if I want kids anymore."

Zayn feels his heart shatter. "What?" He asks shakily.

"Listen, I like having a little bit of freedom and I just don't think kids would do that for me. I know you want them but... Maybe not, you know."

Zayn sucks in breath. He looks off toward the trees. No other house is in sight because they live back up in the woods in their country home. "Is it because Nelson doesn't want kids?"

Harry pauses and narrows his eyes. "What did you say?"

"I said is it because Nelson doesn't want kids? Has spending all that time with him caused you to change your mind?"

Suddenly, he feels a grip on his hair and his head is being pulled back. "Ouch!"

"How many times do I have to tell you Zayn, hm?"

"Stop it! Let go of me! You're hurting me!"

Harry let's go upon his request but when he does, he turns Zayn to him and huffs angry. "I thought we were through with this! Why do you keep bringing it up? Do you want me to be cheating on you? Is that what you want? Because I don't understand why I have to keep telling you that I love you! Why is that so hard for you to just accept? What else do you want me to do?!"

Zayn's lip trembles. "I want you to stop seeing him and stop sleeping with him. You don't think I know where you've been when you come home late in the morning but I do and it hurts."

Harry scoffs. "Oh, here we go."

But Zayn grits his teeth. "You don't understand. I love you, Harry. I'd do anything for you and anything you ask me to do. But the last thing I will let happen is for him to take you away from me. Tell him to go away."

Harry stares at him for a while and then finally laughs. "You're delusional." More laughter. "You know what, though?"

Zayn is still looking at him, hurt that he keeps taking his words as a joke. "What?"

"If you're willing to do anything I ask; if you're really willing to do anything for me, shut up about all of this cheating crap. I'm so tired of hearing it. I'm really trying my best not to hurt you but you just... You keep making me so angry!"

He storms inside the house and goes straight to his drawer in the bedroom. He takes out a white bottle, unscrews the top and after pouring a pill out in his hand, he pops it in his mouth and swallows it dry. He's been needing his sleeping pills a lot more often lately. It's possible that it's the guilt that's keeping him up at night but he can't be sure that's the case.

A few moments later, Zayn returns in the house and after stripping down to his underwear, he crawls in the bed. "I'm sorry." Zayn says. "I don't know what came over me. I'm just scared you wouldn't want me anymore."

"Of course I want you, I always do. I love you." He assures. "And I forgive you."

Zayn thinks for a moment. "Harry."

"Hm?"

"If... If you don't want kids, we don't have to have any."

That catches Harry off guard. "What?"

"If you don't wan't kids, I won't pressure you into getting any. I'm... I'm fine with you."

Harry only let's a small smile play on his lips. "Well, I was just being suggestive. Doesn't mean what I said was final. So we'll see okay?"

Zayn smiles and cuddles against him. "Okay."

He still knows he's lying about most things, yes. But at least Harry comes home to him. At least he is the one who Harry falls asleep next to. And not that he should be in competition over the man he started dating before anyone else but not even Nelson can beat that.