PAYBACK » Zarry ✔

Five

Zayn's sitting in the living room on the couch with a book in his hand when Harry comes home. He's surprised he's home early. Well, technically it isn't early. This is about the time he should be home every day. But that's hard to do when he's choosing to spend that time with his coworker.

"Hey baby." Harry smiles.

"Hey." Zayn mumbles.

"You haven't already made dinner, have you?"

"No."

"Good. Because I was thinking it'd be nice to go out tonight." He says as he sits his bag down and takes off his suitcoat.

"What? Why?"

"I won. Well, my client and I both won. Not just me."

Zayn smiles. "That's great. I knew you would win. You've always been good at this."

Harry takes the book from him and leans over him so that they're face to face. "Yes, so we should celebrate at dinner. And then when we come back home, we can celebrate tonight. What do you say?"

Zayn really does seriously consider it, but it's​ hard to be excited when he's imagining the many times Harry has "celebrated" with Nelson. "I don't think so."

At first, Harry takes it as a joke. Zayn always readily makes love to him so he can't​ see any other reason he would ever say no. "Playing hard to get, I see."

But Zayn's face tells him he's not joking at all. "Actually, I'm not. I'm dead serious, Harry."

His whole facial expression falls. "What? Why not?"

"Because I'm not up for it."

Harry stands up straight. There's frustration on his face but obviously he would never force Zayn to do anything with him. "Alright, how do I talk you into it, then?"

"You don't."

Harry laughs. "Come on now, Zayn. Don't be like that."

"I'm not being like anything. Wait for another time."

But Harry feels there is something there. He just can't​ quite figure out what it is. "Alright. Forget the sex. Just tell me what's bothering you? Why do you have to be so damn difficult?"

"I'm being difficult?"

"You are. I come home, expecting to see a happy fiancé. Instead, you're grumpy and taking whatever anger you have out on me."

"I'm your fiancé now? Since when?"

"Please, you know we've talked about marriage. Don't pretend this is something new."

"I'm not pretending it's new. I have always talked about it. But obviously you haven't made it clear that you want to marry me because you haven't asked me to marry you."

"What? Why do I have to ask you if we talk about it so much? It's like you want a reason to leave me. Do you or don't you want to be with me?"

"Oh, stop it, Harry. You know better than that. The only reason I'm still here this long is because I love you and I want to be with you. But I can't be sure if you want to be married to me. Marriage requires commitment and you lack that."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

Zayn is quiet at first. "You shouldn't have to ask."

"But I am. What's that supposed to mean?"

Harry eyes him intensely but Zayn looks away from him. He doesn't want to bring up Nelson. He knows Harry will get so angry and he doesn't want to deal with that tonight. "Nothing."

"You're not... you're not thinking about leaving me. Are you?"

Zayn faces him and for a split second, he thinks Harry is actually terrified that he might say yes. But no matter how angry he gets, that is the one thing he doesn't think he'll ever have the strength to be able to do. "No. I just... I have a lot on my mind. That's all."

Harry stands up, now with a victorious smile on his face. "Good. And listen, I am going to marry you. But you obviously want a proper proposal to make it official. So one of these days, I'm going to get you a ring and get down on one knee, the whole Kit and caboodle. One day soon, alright?"

Zayn nods.

"So. Are we still on for dinner tonight, though? I at least want to feed you."

Zayn chuckles. "Maybe."

"Ah, ah. No more games. We're leaving in twenty minutes. Go get ready."

Harry sits his book down on the couch and as he walks away, Zayn looks longingly at him. That's the thing. When Harry is sneaking around and carrying on as if he hasn't been unfaithful, Zayn does things like shove nails in Nelson's tire. But when Harry comes home so happy and in love with him, Zayn can only put up a fight for so long before he gives in and falls into his arms. This is the Harry he wishes Harry could always be for as long as he is in love with him. But since he isn't, he does the only thing he knows to do and the very thing he's been doing since the very beginning.

He pretends.