Months passed but your name still racked in my head. I knew. I fucking knew it ! How could I be so stupid. Why did I even answer back June 6th and do more then watch the stars with you. I knew I was just a toy. After you left I moved on blocking everything and I thought I had moved on and was in a stable place. Unblocking you was the worse thing I could've done. Why ? I'm so stupid for it. Even though I'm 1,000 miles away from you I still get chills. This was supposed to be my get away but now you have me inching to get back. You came back to me when your other whore was smart enough to tell you to fuck off. And even as I sext you I still hate you. I can't stand your fucking cocky ways or the way you treat females like toys. But at the same time I love you. And I didn't even think that was possible. So now it's a constant battle between loving you and hating you and it just can't end on one. I was taught as a child to break your own heart because it's easier in the long run. But I don't think I can't do that now. The feeling of lust even thousands of miles away still makes me smile. And I want all this to be over so I can move on. But you keep coming back and I keep relapsing. You're a drug and a horrible one. Cause even if I went to rehab I would still love you.
