Smile

Chapter 14: Parker is Wonderful

"Chloe," my mother exclaimed when she opened her front door to find me standing there. "Hi. Merry Christmas."

"Thanks," I forced a smile, hoping I didn't look as awkward as I felt. "You too."

She stepped aside, motioning for me to come in. Now that I knew of her pregnancy, my mother's growing stomach seemed more obvious than ever. It was hard to miss. Surely she was a good few months along now.

"Is James home?" I asked as we sat down in the livingroom. I hadn't been invited to my mother's house—I'd come unannounced, and on Christmas morning of all times. I'd been surprised to find my mother home; I couldn't imagine how she felt seeing me here when she knew her ex-husband's family was all over my house.

"No, he went to his parent's house to help them clean up the mess from last night. I would've gone and helped, but they all insisted that I stay home and rest," she explained and I nodded, wondering why she was telling me all this. I hadn't asked for details. There were a few minutes of awkward silence before she spoke again. "I have to say I hadn't expected you to come over. Otherwise I would've cleaned up a bit." She gestured around the spotless room.

Clearly, I wanted to say, but settled on what I'd come over to talk about in the first place. "Listen, I wanted to apologize about the other day. It just—You kind of took me by surprise and I felt really confused and mad. In the spur of the moment, I felt like you were trying to replace Parker and I, so I—"

"Oh, Honey," my mother interrupted me, shaking her head. "That's not what I was trying to do, you have to believe me." She grabbed onto both of my hands, and I let her. "I still love you and your brother and I wouldn't trade you for the world. I'm sorry if I made you feel like that wasn't the case."

Then why don't you talk to us anymore? I wanted to ask. Why do I always have to make the first step? Parker can't even hear your name without walking away and you think everything is fine? That we wouldn't feel betrayed when you'd tell us you were having a third child with someone other than our father? I haven't even told Parker about your pregnancy yet because I'm fucking scared of his reaction!

But I held my tongue and decided to drag the conversation away from my feelings. "So, how far along are you?"

"Five months," she smiled, rubbing her swollen stomach. "It's a girl."

My heart skipped a beat at my mother's words. I'd always wanted a sister. Thomas swore they were annoying (which had gotten him a slap on the back of the head by the annoying sister herself on multiple occasions) but he'd never succeeded in discouraging me. Could this really be happening? Frankly, it wasn't the way I'd wanted it to happen, but this little girl and I would still be related. Who cared about technicalities? She'd be my sister.

Suddenly, I couldn't take my eyes off my mother's stomach. "What are you going to name her?"

"Actually," she smiled. "James and I thought we should let you name her. We couldn't seem to agree on just one, so we decided to leave the naming to you. If you want to, of course."

Clara.

The name popped into my head before my mother had even finished speaking. I thought about Clara McCloud, and how frustrated I had felt when I'd realized no one seemed to care about an innocent little girl's death. How her existence had barely been acknowledged, aside from her family. She had been strong and brave, and no one knew about her fight. I didn't want her to be forgotten. I couldn't let it happen. She meant so much to Logan, I felt like I had known her myself.

"What do you think of Clara?" I asked my mother, knowing her opinion wouldn't faze me. I'd fight as hard as Logan's sister if I had to.

My mother's surprise was evident on her face. "Really? You don't want to take some time to think about it?"