I walk into Algebra and he sees me all done up. He doesn't say anything to me. No one does. I walk to my seat in the back. He is sitting in his seat next to mine, and I look over at him and smile. The weird thing is that he just looks at me. He doesn't smile. He didn't try to look any different for me, so why did I for him?
He opens up a new message on his phone, and types to me "hey".
I type back "hi."
He types "can I tell you something?"
I type "sure."
He types "I like you and everything but we shouldn't go out if we aren't ever going to hang out or have me even hear your voice. I'm sorry, I really am, I like you but I just can't do this if I can't hang out with you outside of school. It wouldn't make sense to be together."
As I read my eyes began to tear up. I wanted to cry, but I told myself I couldn't. That I was not allowed to cry. I went home and cried my eyes out. I showered and then tried to sleep. As I neared sleep more and more I kept crying. I felt as though I couldn't take it. I grabbed the scissors and did what I know to do best. Then I cried from the pain, and finally fell asleep. I felt worthless and used. I couldn't control myself.
I felt so stupid. My first "boyfriend", didn't even last two days. I was so pissed. I'm not counting him as a boyfriend, because that was just stupid. I hate myself for falling for his games. It wasn't worth it even. I hate him. I hate myself.
