lovely (karamatsu x reader)

sorry

Two days of nothing. Absolute silence. No visits, no phone calls, no texts. The only way you could tell Karamatsu was alive was by his social media accounts, which he updated frequently, though not as much as Todomatsu did.

Todomatsu photographed and videoed anything and everything. You scrolled through his profile boredly, glazing over the bunches of selfies he posted daily. A recently posted video caught your eye however, and you unconsciously raised your eyebrows as you tapped on the video and waited for it to load.

The screen showed Karamatsu, frozen since the video was still buffering. He held a microphone up to his mouth and seemed to be singing into it, a wide smile on his face and his eyebrows low over his eyes. You blinked once, your eyes flicking to the date on the video. Yesterday.

The video finally loaded. The camera shook slightly as Todomatsu did his best to capture the moment. The microphone, you noticed, was plastic, a toy that they had probably had for years. Karamatsu sang loudly into it nonetheless. His voice was low and strong the whole way through, and when he finished he bowed. His brothers, offscreen, began applauding and cheering, including Todomatsu, who's voice was the loudest due to his close proximity to the camera.

He seemed so... Happy without you. The video looked and began playing again but you made no move to stop it or exit. You instinctively watched his wrists, trying to catch any glance of scarring. His hoodie sleeves didn't slip once throughout the video, and when you watched it a third time you just started at his face. At the end he looked up at the camera and you let out a small huff as you quickly paused it. His expression was so excited, like a child, and his smile was so wide. You tried your best to read his eyes, to maybe see that no, he wasn't that happy, he still needed you. There was nothing.

For a minute or two you debated commenting. You even went to far as to type out a reply with shaking thumbs, then backspacing the whole thing after hovering your finger over the "send" button for ten seconds. Frustrated with yourself and not sure why you were so angry, you clicked off your phone and flung it onto the couch next to you, falling back to lean against the back of the couch. You rubbed your face with your hands, trying to calm down.

You were glad that he was so happy. Of course you were. It would be selfish and terrible for you to not be. You just felt a dull ache that he was happy without you around.

A thought occurred to you. Maybe he told his brothers what happened? The awful things you had said to him? And now they were trying to make him feel better. You sighed loudly, so confused and upset and unsure of what you were going to do next. Should you say something to him? Would it be rude when he was enjoying himself like this? Would it ruin his happiness?

Reluctantly, you picked up your phone to text him, call him, something. You had halfway types in your password when there was a knock at the door. Immediately you bolted up and threw your phone back on the couch, reaching the door in just a few quick bounds. A glance through the peephole made your heart skip a beat -- it was Karamatsu! He was here!

You swung the door open and he seemed surprised by the sudden speed of the movement. "Kara!" You yelled excitedly, throwing your arms around him.

He was stiff, and he didn't hug you back. He slowly place his arms on your shoulders and pulled you away from him. You were beaming, but when your eyes met his and you saw no happiness there, your face fell and you raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

"Look, (Y/N)," Karamatsu said, sounding like he was having a difficult time speaking. "I was taking to my brothers and... Ah.. How did choromatsu put it?" He scratched his head, his gaze breaking from hours. "Well.. Anyway.. We kinda all agree that maybe we should stop seeing each other."

Your mouth dropped open and for a moment you struggled to find words. "B-b-but..." You stuttered. He took in a deep breath and set his mouth, looking stern.

"I'm sorry, it's just... This is how it has to be." Karamatsu said, his voice low.

"No... No Karamatsu please," you begged, fighting back tears. "I'm sorry for that I said. I didn't mean it. Please give me another chance!"

"I can't," Katamatsu replied, turning about halfway away from you. You could see that he had tears in his eyes. "So I guess this is goodbye."

"Please, Kara," you begged, reaching out to grab his arm gently.

When you made contact with his forearm he flinched back, pulling it to his chest and sucking in a breath. You felt the same pain in your chest again. The pain you first felt when you had hurt his feelings. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. This wasn't right. Your tears spilled over and you started crying.

While your face was in your hands, you missed Karamatsu's next movements. Upon seeing you cry he instinctively moved toward you, prepared to embrace you, but caught himself and pulled back quickly again, biting his lip. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. As he turned to walk away, a few stray tears fell from his eyes as well.