The Chronicles of Cisco

Halloween!

Halloween kicks Christmas's ass. I mean, what's not to love? Horror movies, monster-themed cereals, that unique smell of a freshly opened cheap latex mask... And not to toot my own horn, but I'm a boss at the whole costume thing. Two years ago, I was a Deadpool Stormtrooper mash-up. Last year, my Xenomorph from Alien was deemed "too scary" for the kiddies. But this year was my best work yet. I was the Doof Warrior from Mad Max: Fury Road, complete with an electric guitar that spewed flames! Yeah. It was pretty awesome.

Every Hallow's Eve, Professor Stein (miss that dude!) and his wife Clarissa convert their digs into a spooktacular haunted house. But with the professor out of town (I wonder if he and Jax have mastered the Torque Roll yet...), Clarissa wasn't sure if she could pull it off on her own. Enter Cisco Ramon: Halloween Expert Extraordinaire!

I brought along some equipment – a 360-degree autostereoscopic display prototype modulated to project 3D holograms of escaped mental patients (Tupac ain't got nothin' on me!) – and turned their Martha Stewart home into a terrifying madhouse that would give the Bates Motel a run for its money. We boarded up their windows, hooked up some dual 15" concert speakers with Bluetooth to blast some creeptastic sound effects, and made sure the candy bowl was overflowing just in time for the first trick-or-treaters.

This year's gotta-have-it costume? The Flash! How cool is that?! There must've been dozens of little speedsters running from house to house on sugar highs – all red and gold and causing a headache for the horde of hassled parents tagging along.

I made sure to give an extra Snickers or two to each Flash I saw, but I totes got called out on it by a particularly broody tyke dressed as The Green Arrow. We got into a.... shall we say.... heated argument about who would win in a fight between the two heroes and I had to drop some science on the kid: Beyond just being fast, The Flash can throw lightning, vibrate so fast he can pass through walls (what we geeks call "quantum tunneling"), create a sonic boom by snapping his fingers, and, thanks to his capability of reaching infinite velocity, he can travel faster than the speed of light – which means time travel, baby! How can The Green Arrow compete with that? In response, the lil' brooder just shot me smack dab in the forehead with his toy bow and took a fistful of candy before flitting away into the shadows. I better watch my back – I think he's got it out for me now.

Clarissa's house ended up being the most Instragrammed location in Central City that weekend. Stein will have a helluva time topping it next year! But he doesn't need to fret on that front – I've already got a few ideas up my sleeve.... Meta-zombie apocalypse, anyone?