•it seems okay•

•35•

So I have a question for you. Heartbroken? No problem. You know sometimes people forget that every single person in your life is either a lesson or a blessing. And it's very rare to come across someone who's actually both cause normally they're either one or the other. Either they're going to hurt you or they're going to teach you something so amazing and just make you feel so good. So either a lesson or a blessing, and we forget this sometimes. We think everybody is supposed to do us good but they're not and I'm going to tell you why. God does this for a reason. He blesses us with certain people because he wants to show us that there is actually good people out there. That not everybody is going to hurt us. That we're going to be okay, but then he has to hurt us with that one person as a lesson because he has to test your strength. You need to test your strength. Sometimes we have test how strong we really are and we just think so little of ourselves. We think we're not capable or getting through half the shit we do get through, but we don't really realize that. You don't realize it until being strong is all you have left, until being strong is all you know. If you're anything like me, I used to think that everybody has a good heart. I used to think that everybody is out there to love you and be there for you and just be here, but often we forget that not everyone has the same heart we do. So we give so much of ourselves and they give us nothing in return we're kind of in a way shocked because I gave you my everything and you gave me nothing. Well you know what? Not everyone has the same heart as you. Not everybody has the same pure intentions as you may have for somebody else cause that's just life. I'm just telling you, if you have not yet got your heart broken it will happen. It's just a part of life. Everyone need to go through this to grow as a person, to better themselves as a person, to help other. And with that pain we could help others and be somebody else's hero. To let them know I get you, I feel you, I've been there, I've done that, now I'm going to help you. And some of you may ask me, how does a heart break feel like? It feels like the end of the world. It feels like all you want to do is fucking cry, and all you want to do is just lay in bed and just sit there. Even just getting up feels so fucking draining and so impossible. You don't even know what to do. How to breathe. How to walk. How to get up. How to go on. Because this person is now gone, and you never thought that day would come, but now it's here. And you don't know what to you. Now you're lost. You're confused. You're in the dark. You don't know where to go, who to turn to. You just feel so alone. And that's when you ask yourself, why am I here? Is this life really worth living without this person? I'm not used to this. And let me tell you, let me tell you something. Sometimes we think often that we need somebody. Truth be told, you may love a lot of people, you may want a lot of people in your life, but the fact is you don't need nobody. Even if they still 'need' you, you don't need them. Whenever we get heartbroken we're like "fuck what do I do?". If you were still okay without them, before you even met them, you're going to be okay after. And sometimes we fail to remind ourselves that. Everything is going to be okay. We just tend to let our fears and our pain overcome us, all the good, everything. Trust me, I get it. Going through a heartbreak is one of the hardest things to do in life. You don't know what to do. It's like you're always there for everybody, and whenever your hurt, you're alone, everybody disappears. Now you're like "that one person who was everything to me now your gone and everybody else is now gone so what the fuck am I supposed to do now? Where do I go? How do I go on about my life? How do I breathe? How do I get out of bed? How do I fake a smile on my face now? How do I go on without you? How?" You have to go on without them, the way you did before. Not everybody is going to do you right, not everybody is going to do you good. Not everybody is going to capture your heart and hold it. Some people are actually going to grab it and throw it on the floor, they're going to smash it, they're going to step on it. And they're going to laugh about it while you're sitting there hurting and asking yourself "why am I always hurting? Why is it always me?" Don't question it. Trust me, I know it's hard. You just have to go with the flow and learn. Don't ever, listen to me, do not ever let the same person hurt you twice. Cause now it's you hurting you. You know what they're capable of doing that. You know that they don't care at this point. So if you allow them, you give them that power to hurt you? You let that happen. Don't. Do not. Know your worth as a person. Sometimes whether it's this person or somebody else that make us feel that were worthless, that we aren't shit, that were here and not meant to be here, and we're so unless, and ugly, and losers. Don't give anybody that fucking power or satisfaction to ever make you feel that low or ever make you feel you aren't worth it, cause you are worth so much. The only reason why they say this is cause they're upset, they're jealous cause you must have something or you are doing something right that they are not. So they want to bring you down with them, do not let them bring you down. Hold yourself up cause if you don't hold yourself up, I'm telling you this right now. There isn't anybody in this world that's going to hold you up. They're going to try, but nobody actually care enough to pick you up there and watch you succeed. Cause everybody's has their own life. If you don't got you, nobody's going to have you, at least not the way you could have you. So although it may feel like the end of the world right now, you may feel so lost and confused, you may feel like you're in a dark hole. You don't know I get to get out, you don't know how to breathe, you don't know how to get up, you don't know to walk anymore, you don't even know how to be yourself anymore, you don't know how to smile, you don't know if you want to be here. That my friend is where we all mess up at point. Whenever we lose ourselves trying to love somebody else. We lose ourselves trying to make somebody else happy, who never even had the same heart or intentions as we did for them. But I am here to remind you guys cause sometimes we don't even do this cause like I told you guys I'm here to remind you guys. No matter what you're going through, no matter how much heart break you feel, no matter bad it hurts, no matter how much it's weighing on your chest. You're going to be okay. Remind yourself that. As cliche as that shit may sound. The more you remind yourself that you are going to be okay, the more you are going to start to believe it, and whenever you believe it you're going to see it, and whenever you see it, life is going to be great again. You just have to believe in yourself. Like I told you guys before, do not let the same person hurt you twice. If you are with somebody who lets you go to bed crying, who lets you go to bed upset, who lets you go to bed feeling like you aren't shit, who ignores you, who abuses you. Know you're worth. Know your worth. Whenever you finally realize how much you are worth, how much of a gem you are, and how precious you are inside and out. That my friend is the exact moment where you will stop setting for people who do not care about you the way you care about them. That is the moment where you are going to fucking say "I know who I am, I know what I have to offer, and you damn right know I know what the fuck I deserve." And that right there is going to be the best moment of your fucking life, I can assure you that. No matter how bad it might hurt right now, 1. It's going to be okay, I promise. And 2. It is not okay to give up. Not now, not today, nor will it ever be okay to give up. You need to overcome this, make your peace with it. Pray about it. Deal with it the right way, don't go numbing your pain. And whenever you're okay one day. Whenever you see somebody out of the streets someday, going through the same thing you were, and they feel helpless and they feel the same thing too were feeling and you remember what that feeling felt like, you can go help them out. You can be somebody else hero. You can save a fucking life, and that amazing. That's amazing. But I knew some of you may not believe me right now, you may believe that this pain is going to last forever and you don't know how you're going to go through this. You don't know which way to go, you don't know which steps to take, which route to take, which road to take. In time you guys are going to realize that, you guys are going to over come this. Cause the way you were without them in the beginning before you met them, you are going to be even better this time just make sure you better yourself. Instead of saying you're getting even with somebody or you're going to hurt somebody cause of they're own faults, better yourself. That is the best revenge that you have. What you got to do is look in the fucking mirror and say "I know who I am. I know what I deserve, and I know my worth. And if you, he, she, them don't see it, that doesn't make me any less of a person." Just because somebody does not see your worth, doesn't mean you do not have one. Sometimes people think "well they don't see my worth maybe I'm not worth shit." No. It's that you are, it's just going to take that right person to see your worth, but first and foremost, you have to see it yourself and stop setting. And whenever you do that my friend, things will go much smoother. Not fast, but in time. Cause everything everything in this life take time. I promise you that. I'm so impatient so I hate waiting for shit period. But I have learned that patience is key. You got to have that shit. You just got to.