Stained Starbursts • yoonmin

4 | 겨울

겨울 // WINTER

"Yoongi," Jimin adressed the older boy while he was curled against his warm body.

"Mhhm?" Yoongi breathed out, his hands intertwined with Jimin's and his cheek rested upon Jimin's hair that has black roots peeking out of his flaming red hair.

"Why?" He asked, voice caught between his throat. Rough, raw and cracked.

"Why not?" Yoongi replied almost immediately, heaving a large sigh from the younger boy.

"You're not answering me properly, Yoongi. I'm just-" Jimin started to blabber, but Yoongi stopped him by pressing his index finger against Jimin's mouth.

"Shhh, let's not think about that, can we? I'm staying. I'm not leaving you. Not ever," Yoongi promised, hands warm against Jimin's cold ones.

"But-" he started to complain, but Yoongi did not even listen.

Yoongi squeezed Jimin's hand tighter. He lifted up his hand and said, "This," he gestured at Jimin's hand, "I am not letting this go. This hand will follow you wherever you are, whatever you've done."Jimin couldn't help but feel a deep pang of pain scratching deep inside him. The guilt he has to bear for almost four months now had been really hard. Doing this to Yoongi feels incredibly wrong, but no matter how hard he try, he couldn't stop loving him.

And that is the problem.

Jimin could not possibly love Yoongi without the price of truth pushing him down to his utter end.

And the truth is, no matter how Jimin tries, he must not bring more pain and suffering upon Yoongi.

Because whatever's happening right now, this love that has been based on so many lies, will end up killing them.

Three days before the winter break, the unthinkable happened. Yoongi woke up to the smell of Christmas cookies, and he smiled, because Jimin loves baking. Cookies meant messy Jimin and messy Jimin means laughs and kisses and other things.

Yoongi stood up from his bed (that became Jimin's domain too) and worked his way towards the kitchen, expecting flour remnants and batter stains on the kitchen countertop.

What he saw, was the exact opposite. He saw a perfectly aligned kitchen, with perfectly aligned cookies on a baking pan. What he saw was a piece of paper bearing Jimin's name and words that seem to ignite his world and burn it down into nothing but ashes.

Yoongi,

I know you're confused. Or why I left you cookies and did not even leave you some of the batter. Yoongi, know you're asking where the hell am I and I am sorry because I could not tell you.

I know you're mad, hell, maybe you're already cursing me down to the pits but I can't do it anymore. Guilt has consumed every piece of me, and I am afraid it will end destroying you too.

You know how much I love you and your eyes and your lips and your hair and you know how much I love every piece of you.

I'm sorry

Jimin