Artist Anatomy - Joshler

s l u t

Besides being a little depressed I'm a total slut for Josh and my best friend Lexie. I don't cut myself off from people no matter how annoying they get. People still need people because although self love is important, self love often gets lonely. 

"Are you drawing Josh again?" Lexie asked. 

I didn't take my eyes off my sketch as I shifted comfortably on the margins of her mattress. "I'm not that creepy. I'm drawing his pants."

Lexie didn't even take the reply to extremity although her lofty chuckle was the start of us laughing till we had to catch our breath. 

I didn't want to convince myself that it was getting serious but eventually I had to terms that Josh was taking over my every sense wide awake and dreaming. He was more my dream.

"Of course you'd write daddy!"

"We all have our personal kinks, Lexie. Let me have mine." I steadied the pencil. 

"I'm not kinky." Lexie smirked soon her confident smirk turning into a conspicuous frown "Am I?"

"I've known you for a long time and you are not innocent, whore." I reprimanded her reputation as she folded her arms through her sweatshirt with the 1975 printed across it. Typical innocent seeming best friend but really, she's just as kinky as I.

She would not give up as she laid on her stomach and admiringly rested her chin up on both of her knuckles. "I don't draw my boyfriends." Then her legs shot up from behind as if she was aroused. "What is wrong with you?" I asked her. 

"Why don't you just talk to him in person? He'd really like you Tyler! You're not like his ordinary crack friends. You're like a prostitute with morals."

I shook my head sticking my head back into my drawing. "Is that supposed to make me sound like Cinderella?"

"Unless she was secretly a prostitute and drew her boyfriends."

I rolled my eyes and my high pitched guy voice annoyed even me. "Lexie, he's not my boyfriend!" I cried. She would always get me to talk to the famous Josh Dun whom I had atleast four drawings of. It's weird, I know.

Not sexy in the least. 

But it's not like I can show the drawings to him or to anyone but Lexie. She makes me confident in myself. She makes me feel important and she's helping me out with problems I've kept to myself at home but I almost never take her advice... "He's not gay. I mean, he could be? But he's not my boyfriend. If he were mine, I wouldn't be here with you." I said with much of the sass intended.

"But he could be." 

"You talk a good game of bullshit Lex, but I love you anyway."

She shrugged batting her eyes and I knew then if I couldn't have the guy, I could have the girl. The one who I could go to when the guy never acknowledged my existence.