u n d e r w a t e r

o n e

her first memory in the sea was clear enough.

she was three or four, perhaps even five [she had always been a late grower] and her mother and father were there with her. she was armed with inflatables, a surfboard and armbands that were squeezing her chubby flesh. she dipped her toe in the sea and yelled at her mother, "mummy, it's too cold, can we put some hot in?" like it was bath time. 

she went in the sea regardless, and squealed as she played around for hours and hours on end, until her parents dragged her out. 

but there was this one point, where she was on her surfboard, when a huge wave tumbled over her as she kicked against the sand, and the velocity was so strong compared to her bodyweight, the waves crushed her against the ground and she couldn't breathe. the water was so overwhelming she thought it would never end, and she lay limp next to her surfboard as the power of the waves overcame her. she was weak.

when the wave inevitably ended, the shock took over, and the surprise of new oxygen took her breath away. at the time, she just laughed it off; after all, it was just a silly wave and no harm had come to her.

but now, seven, eight or nine [she had always been a late grower] years later, that was exactly what she was feeling now.

only she knew the wave would never end.