One more night [jjk]

25

-Hee Young-

I wish i woke up this morning with the burning sensation of love for the man i lay next to. 

Underneath the sheets, both of our youthful bodies rest. 

exposed to one another, yet i felt like hiding myself

i wish we woke up entangled in each others body parts, anxously wondering when we could do this again.

but instead, we lay here 5 inches apart. Praying last night was a mutual unspoken fantasy.

i turned to him only to see his face peacfully at rest. shifting in the sheets i wanted to reach out and curl into his arms.

I wanted to feel safe. I yearned for the touch that could make me feel as beatiful as the rain after a long day of pouring my soul out.

-

"im sorry" was the first thing he said.
i wished he would have said good morning and asked how i was feeling and if i would like my eggs scrambled or sunny side up or if i preferred coffee over tea in the morning.

instead he felt the need for apologizing for a night which the last thing I'd want to do is forget

"last night...i-i let the drinks take over my actions and we didnt know what we were doing. I didnt know" he said with a sigh that could most definitely bring me to tears if he ever said it again.

it was full of regret.

with eyes wide open i explained that i know, but deep down i didnt. Because everytime i close my eyes i couldnt erase the memories of his voice chanting....singing to me that he loved me

i wish that we were teasing each other about silly dance moves we only shared when we were drunk or foolish things we said when we were in bed that we now laugh at. But instead we just layed there silent, scared of what would happen next. 

We were in a hotel. But i wished we were safe in my apartment, where it would have felt like more than a one night thing. Where his words would echo through my walls every time i fell asleep. But we were in a hotel that we would soon learn to forget completely about once we left.

-

i kept on telling myself than one night isnt enough for me to justify if i should stay or leave.

but last night i thought we had a chance, i thought something would have worked out between us.

This morning told me otherwise.

From the way he layed, to the way his breath moved at a steady pace.

He didn't feel the same.

  i wished that it was jungkook running through my veins last night, but i realized maybe it was simply the alchohol.  

"i should uhm...get going" i said slipping out of the bed. I felt his eyes on me as i grabbed my clothes piece by piece. I felt shameful. Pulling on my clothes the feeling of disgust washed through me, remembering last nights events and realizing how to me the actions meant more than love but to him it wasnt more than lust. 

A one night stand.

Jungkook did the same. tying my hair up, i watched as  he did the opposite. He began to cover his face with a hoodie, mask and sunglasses. 

i forgot how the world saw him for a second. i forgot how many people would hate me for breaking his heart and i forgot how much hes already broken mine.

Just for a moment in time, his; fame, name, voice. It all didnt matter to me. all i wanted was him as a whole, as a person.

for a second there, i forgot.

______

A/n: for a month there, I sat lost.