7 Years

When he was 7, I was born.

HER PERSPECTIVE

"M-manong?"
Silence.
I hated the fact that I had to call him that.
"Manong?"
Still no reply.
'Manong' is a term of respect for someone older than you.
A boy older than you to be exact.
And 'Manang'? Yep, you've guessed it. For girls older than you.
That, or you could say it's the filipino alternative for 'senpai'.
I wanna say his name, daMnIT I wanna scream it, but wouldn't that be disrespectful since
everyone thinks i see him as my older brother, just like the how the rest of my friends see him.
They're wrong about me.
I'm gonna change it all.
Starting today.
Starting now.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Hmm?"
My train of thoughts dropped me off at the wrong station: Reality.
What just happened?
Oh right, I was standing behind him, calling him.

"You need me?"

'YESSS I FRICKIN NEED YOU
TO BE
MY
HUSBAND!!!'
-the inner me that no one knows about.

I called him out because I didn't know what was going on.
His shoulders were shaking intensively
And his back was faced towards me so i couldn't see his face.
He made no noise therefore
I couldn't tell whether he was laughing
Or crying.

The silence between us caused him to turn his head around and..

HIS PERSPECTIVE

I faced her.
Her expressions are like a book,
she's so easy to read, but i wonder if she's just
hiding everything
covering it all
expressing fake feelings
so that no one sees the how precious and vulnerable she really is.

That, or she's on her period.

"M-manong? Are you alright?"
Crap.
Is it too bait?
Even though we're in the dark can she tell that i cried?
That i'm not a real man?
That i'm weak?
I laugh at her question because honestly i don't know what else to do.
"Yeah, of course. I'm just-"

"Your eyes are red and your voice is shaky. Please don't lie to me, J-Jay"

Even though they were swollen i could feel my eyes widen with pure shock.
Did she just call me Jay?
She's too cute that i let it slip.
What even bruh
This time, i laugh without forcing it.
This girl,
No matter what,
always ends up making me
smile.

Should i be concerned?
Do i seem pedophilic?
No, no, no
No.
She's 16 and i'm 23,
But i don't obsess over her body because ew.
There's just something about her.
The way she speaks,
The way she laughs,
The way she smiles.
The most painful part is,

I have to keep it all lowkey.
No doubt she wouldn't fall for someone like me.