We Only Have Each Other.

Eli's Hope

Hope is one of the strongest and best things to hold onto, it is also the hardest and easiest thing to lose. Having hope is what carries you a long way, when things get tough you hope for the best, you hope for a better outcome, a better chance. Hope is what keeps a person moving forward, it is even a word of encouragement. 

I hope you win those tickets! 

I hope you'll make it home safely! 

I hope you like this! 

Although, like many things, hope could be used for a bad thing, an insult. It changes on many occasions and it holds a vile taste in many people's mouths. 

I hope that was worth it! 

I hope you die! 

I hope you rot! 

I don't like or believe in a negative way, I don't like negative things. I try to stay positive and I hoped for the best for my sister and me for as long as I could remember. I even tried for my mom. I always hoped for more. I always hope for the night my mom would come home feeling okay, without a bottle in her hand. I hoped for the day she'd say she was sorry and tried to be a good mom. I hoped for the day Vivian didn't have to worry for me, that Vivian didn't feel the need to care for me. I hoped for the day my big sister didn't have to take the place of a mother for me, I hoped for the day she could just be my sister, she's given me hope and care for nearly everything and anything I could think of. She is the best sister anyone could ever ask for. I hoped she would save some of the love she held for me, for herself. 

But that day never came. It had been 10 years and I still held on, I held on believing and hoping for the best. It was complicated, but I tried. Now... we have no mom and no dad, and we're stuck in an orphanage. I hope we don't stay too long, I can see the distress in my sister's eyes, I don't want it to be permanent. I hope she'll be happy soon. 

In this orphanage, I can see the other kids my age looking and trying to figure me out, they see me with my sister and I can see the "only child" of their family glaring at the fact I have a sister that is so protective of me. I can see the pity in Ms. Jo's eyes and the other people who are running this place. 

The only person who really talks to us is pretty nosy, always staring and getting super close to me and my sister. It was... I guess what they called playtime? For all of us kids. Vivian was directed towards the children her age and I was directed to the ones my age, but we found ourselves going back to each other ignoring everyone else. Vivian did take a book, and I took a couple of toys to play around with we sat in the corner against the wall, alone. That was until that girl came back, sliding in front of us as I said, she's nosy. 

"Hey guys!" she says and Vivian didn't look up from the book, I glanced at her but I stayed silent. 

"What'cha got there Eli?" She says leaning down towards me softening her voice as she spoke to me. 

"A toy," I say in a monotone voice. 

"Ohh! Cool!" She smiles at me. 

"So, any news on getting adopted?" 

Vivian looks up from her book, "No, why? We just got here the other night." 

"Oh, it's just some kids get adopted pretty fast," Savannah says picking on the carpet beneath us. 

"Well you haven't," I slipped, I felt my stomach drop. Letting go of the toy I looked up at the two girls with my mouth partly opened trying to speak. 

 Vivian closed her book eyes wide at me, "Eli! That was rude." 

"I-I know, I'm so sorry, I didn't-"