Untouchable

01 | Not a good threshold

All beginnings are delightful; the threshold is the place to pause.

-Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

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You can do it,

One more meter, Sarah.

My heart bounces in my chest so hard, like a monster that wants to get out of its cage. My ribcage hurts. My lungs burn.

And yes, that's what you get when you stick your ass to the couch for almost six months. I catch a glance of my not-so far house, but my heart makes me feel as if it is about two miles away. I rest my hands on my knees, panting. Closing my eyes, I re-pose and decide not to give up and run this meter.

"Sarah it's time to wake up" My mum's faint shouting echoes  in my ears from inside the house, making my heart to stop at my throat. She thinks that I'm still up there in my bed. I stand by my house doorstep, catching my breath, because I'm so very aware of what she would do when she found out that I sneak out the house in the early morning while she was asleep.

I open the door, seeking for a miracle to make me invisible to her. I slum it shut and the sound makes her jump from the kitchen counter.

"The hell, Sarah. You scared me- wait, what were you doing out there? Did you sneak out of the house? Again?" she sounds rather angry. And she has all the right to.

"Um- actually, I got out an hour ago or something, mum, it wasn't so early then" she narrows her eyes at me, so very sure that I'm lying. I sigh, "okay, I'm sorry"

"Go change your clothes and shower; you have school and we don't want you to be late from the first day. We'll talk about this later."

And now I know that mum would never drop what happened.

* * * * *

I stand under the hot water for almost half an hour, doing nothing. But thinking, until my body has turned red. Even though it's almost 32 celisuis degrees out there, I still use the hot water. My mind has already designed scenarios for what's about to happen today—my so very first senior year school day here—New York. my new home. It's not like I had friends back in LA but at least it was familiar. A  familiar strange Place.

I can remember my dad when he wanted to persuade me to do anything he would say that the thing you afraid the most is always the best. I still could hear his voice, and everytime he would say that, I chuckled or giggled about his failed attempts to make me feel good. I miss him. I have no idea why all the sad memories and/or the bad ideas rush back to my mind whenever I stand under the shower.

Eventually I decide to turn off the tap and desert the bathtub. if I authorized my thoughts to affix my mind it would engorge it.

I step out of the bathtub, wrapping a towel around my body. I stand by the foggy mirror, wiping it with my forehand to get a better view of myself. I use the hair dryer to dry my long dark hair, because it's one of the worst feeling any girl wears hijab could feel is to have a wet hair under the scarf.

I slip my jeans, and put into a white shirt with 'I'm having a bad day' quote written on it, I think it fitted my day perfectly. I wrap a rose scarf on my hair  {hijab: it's a long scarf girls wrap on their head to cover their hair; it's related to Islam religion} and a converse then pick up my backpack and before I could make it downstairs, I took one last look at my reflection in the full length mirror, "everything will be all right, inshaallah" {If allah wills it}

* * * * *

After a bundle of scolded glances my mum has shoot me, I got out of my house letting a breath of relief. The hot weather greets my face and the hot shower made the matters worse. Great, just great.

I ride my bike, huffing every second because cycling in this hot weather is the second worst thing after the wet hair. I squint every now and then to avoid the sun rays, that is striking my cornea. Ughhh I hate summer. But the bright side here, that it's almost the end of this damn season.

* * * * *

I reach the parking lot of the school, parking my fancy bike by the row of parked bikes. Everyone in here are exchanging hugs and greeting, after a long summer break. Seems that I'm the only new student here. Not a good sign—at all.

As I entered the school gates that led to the hallway of every typical high school, I put my headphones on my ears and loud music just to separate myself from the world surrounding me.

Once I entered the school gates all the eyes were on me. I pretended that I didn't notice anyone and just continued walking to my class which I didn't even know where it was, but I couldn't show them my weakness in the first day I have to be strong, what if they noticed? It wouldn't matter.

I continued telling myself that, until I felt a little knock on my arm which got me out of my thoughts. I turned to see who's the 'one' and I saw a pair of emerald  green eyes, messy dark brown hair, rosy lips and a small smile.

"Hey,"I read his lips before pausing my Music.I knitted my eyebrows, "hey?"

"I think you dropped this off while you were entering the school, it's yours right?" He extended his hands to handle me my little monkey.

It's just a teddy, I pin out on the zipper of my backpack

"Umm, yeah it's mine," I grasped it from him. "Anyway, thanks"

"Anytime, you are new here?" it sounded to be a statement more than a question. "Yeah, I have just moved this year" I nodded with a small smile

"So welcome here, angel," I gave him a small smile curling my lips into a thin line."See you around" He waved his hands, then popped off. "Oh, wait," he turned on his heels to me, "umm do you have any idea where's Mr.Miller's class; English class?"

"Yeah, you walk straight, at the end on the hallway; the last door in the left,"

"Thanks!" I gave him a broad smile, and hurried off to the direction of the class without giving him a chance to reply.

The moment I saw the door of the class, I sighed in relief. I found an empty desk and when I was about to sit down, a girl from the front desk put her backpack,

"It's taken" She simpered, so obvious that it was fake.

"What's going on?" The teacher turned his head towards us with an angry expression on his face

" Someone came late" She replied, looking in my direction, smirking.

"You're the new girl, right?" The teacher huffed and I just nodded my head, then he said, "You're late from the first day it's not a good threshold"

"Sorry, sir, won't happen again" I apologized tearing my gaze away from his

"Hope so, take a seat. I want to start my lesson, can I?" I nodded silently, heading to the desk in the back.

I turned and saw that girl giving me wicked glare.

I didn't think it's a good threshold either, then I opened my book and the teacher began the lesson.

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-Raw.