Search for Holy Warmth (Wattys 2016)

TENNO SKOOOOOM!

                         The Tenno fetus emerged from the void between the Lotus' legs. The father Hunhow looked on in shame. "Fuck you, I wanted a winged death machine," he said as the Lotus cradled the newborn Tenno. Of course, this only happened in the Lotus' dreams since her fetus holder was broken. It was at this moment that a rogue Kubrow burst into the room, kidnapped the Tenno and ran into the woods. The Tenno was not happy about being taken away from his home planet. Deep in the woods of Jigglyass laid the Kubrow nest. Kubrow had tried many times to mate with her husband Dethcube but could not bare a child because Dethcube was 'a fucking square.' It does not have a dick to mate with. Then HAL 9000 poisoned the forest with toxic tanooki gas. Kubrow died from this air. Dethcube had survived because he does not need to breathe. Out of rage, Dethcube opened fire upon HAL 9000, igniting the gas and killing everything in the woods except for the himself, the Tenno, and Gary BUSEY. "Who is this mysterious psychopath. Does he diddle kids?" Dethcube pondered whether or not to trust the man. "I DO NOT DIDDLE CUBES!!!" screamed Busey as he shoved a pinecone up his ass while screaming to the top of his lungs about the horrors of Vietnam.