Tainted - The Torn Trilogy - Book 3 DISCONTINUED

Living With The Angels

Tears over took me completely anguished cries and sobs wracked my body.  I couldn’t see, hear of think much of anything.  I pushed the snow away from the ground plunging my hands into the crispy grass why?  I curled myself up in a ball on my coat my lungs tightening from the magnitude of my tortured cries.  I tried so hard not to cry I haven’t cried since that day... NO. I pushed all the tears away.

 Every good and bad memory of her rushed around my head, her eyes, her laugh the way she’d give me advice, told me off and ground me. Everything.  It’s been 6 months since the worst day of my life.  

I’m missing her so much nothing is ever going to be the same ever again.   She went too early, thirty seven years old.   Over two years everything got progressively worse she was a shell of the person she was but never gave up, smiles until the very end.

 I remember the way she used to play with my hair, help me with my homework, hold me when I cried  I would do anything to have her back here, I’d give my life.   No one has been the same, Mark is angry most of the time, Summer always cries, my dad is a drunk, my nana and granddad broke down cut all contact with everyone, Glen is distant, Jade and Mia are putting on brave faces but it’s effecting everyone she was the light in all our lives.

I was happy before she got sick doing great and I was happy in school had loads of friends and the best family everyone was fulfilled.

  I was 14 when she got sick the day she told us is tattooed onto my brain I don’t think that feeling‘s ever gonna go away, it is like I’m stuck in a swamp never moving forward just sinking.   The worst thing was that I couldn’t do anything to help her. 

Seeing her ill and being powerless to do anything hurt the most, I even blamed myself; it was like being stuck behind a pane of unbreakable glass looking in.   The after effects were the worst; the papers got hold of some of her medical information blasted it all over the gossip rags, that headline caused havoc;

“The Script’s ex lead singer turned soloist Danny’s O’Donoghue’s ex girlfriend and baby Mamma Sarah O’Connor gets sick.”

That tiny unrevealing line ruined lots of things, my friends found out I was my dad’s daughter and how she had two kids with different band members.  The past got dredged up about her apparently splitting the band up.    Needless to say I lost a load of friends and am bullied by the older popular group of girls in my school saying how if they aborted me none of this would have happened.  How I ruined The Script.  They say things about my dad its vile.  I’d say those things about a fit guy that’s if I cared enough.  I care about so little now my brain is just full of the numbness.

 I’ve tried so hard to cope, hold on to anything, any scrap of happiness but it’s difficult.  I feel numb even the faces of the people I love are distorted music is the only thing that gives me more than a flicker of happiness.  I don’t know how long I can do this for...  

I need to get back for Summer.....Sums can’t live without a mother she’s eight years old I don’t know how I’d have coped without a mother at her age, god my little sister, since I’d been living with my dad I’ve missed her so, so much. 

When my mum knew she wrote a letter to Me, Mark, Summer, Dad, Glen and Jade they all got theirs at her funeral but I didn’t Mark didn’t give me mine he still won’t and that’s why I’m here.  We got into a heated argument and I moved out I remember Summer crying and begging me not to go but I couldn’t live with someone who would keep that from me that letter was all I had except from a few of her clothes and pictures she wrote something in there that Mark didn’t want me to see obviously...why hide it from me otherwise?  

My dad, that’s another matter he loved my mum solidly until the very end he was with us when it all went down everyone came together to see her off.  When my mum got sick dad tried to pull together for me and Mia but it took its toll on his relationship with her.

He got so drunk when mum took a bad turn and blurted out to Mia and I that he’d slept with my mum a few times after Summer was born we swore not to speak of it, it was harder on me though knowing that and living with Mark who’d been so devoted to her but I know she loved him as much as she loved my dad.  

When she died, dad’s career plummeted as he spiralled into drink, now he’s jobless and barely conscience most of the time.  He’s no longer that bubbly person, he’s not been the same since his band split up him and Glen speak occasionally, Mark and him can’t stand to be in the same room as each other without...

*Phone Rings*

I push away the tears and the croak in my voice and answer the incessant ringing that dropped me back to the harsh reality, it was Mark. Reluctantly picking myself up off the cold ground I walked there to the house that I spent the majority of my life it hurt to be there for long I was surrounded by all the memories of a family that’s now shattered and broken but I had to give Summer some sort of normality.

 I finally reached the house, I felt sick but that’s the usual feeling when I look at the house.

As soon as I was inside Summer rushed up to me linking her arms around my waist tightly I stroked her lush auburn locks  tenderly a huge rush of love filled my heart she was the light in my life too. She pulled back and looked into my eyes, hers were red and puffy she’d been crying again.

I led her over to the couch and flicked the TV on I slumped myself on the sofa, it still smelt of her. As soon as I touched the cool leather Summer came and snuggled down facing me her hands lost themselves in my brown locks. She mumbled something slightly;

“I love you Melly..” I smiled at her nickname.

“I love you too Sums...”  I felt her stiffen up slightly as I heard heavy footsteps hurtling down the stairs, he’s been so angry and distant since mum died I barely recognise him.

“Why were you late?!  Actually don’t answer that I knew were you were, I should be back around eleven. I love you, both of my girls!”

he said blankly, there was no emotion in his voice he bent down and gave us both kisses on the cheek they were nothing but whispers before he left slamming the door behind him making Summer jump.

“Hey, shh it’s okay sweet. What happened while I wasn’t here?” I soothed, sitting her up with me pulling her onto my lap she buried her face my chest and cried while speaking.

“Daddy’s angry all the time. He never plays with me, he just takes me to school picks me up and that’s it..” her voice was full of sadness she didn’t have a mother she needed a father, not a ghost.

“I know. But I’ll speak to him don’t worry, anyhow how was school little one?” I asked, as she lay in my lap both of us getting comfy.

“Okay but people ask me where my Mummy’s gone...” she sniffed, I had to hold back tears my voice catching in my throat as I replied.

“Oh. T-they don’t understand sweetie but they will just tell them...tell them she’s gone to live with the angels.” I let a stray tear fall down my cheek, that was the only one.

I need to be strong for my family get them back to the way they were I can do this.

Hey! Let me know what you think of this chapter! Comment and vote - Love Hannah xox