Taming The Ghost

Chapter 16- Filler

The knocking continued for another 15 minutes before I finally plucked up the nerve to go and see him. Bucky, when I solemnly pushed open his door, was smiling softly but his expression soon changed to one of worry as his eyebrows knitted together when his eyes met mine. Forcing myself to move forward, I walked over to Bucky's bed and sat by his side, all the while his eyes were on me.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he said as a tear managed to escape my control and roll down my cheek.

"Buck-" I choked out. I was trying to say it, because I knew I had to, but the words just wouldn't come. Finally, after some reassurance from Bucky in the form of a hug, I got the nerve to say those inevitable words. "Bucky, I've been kicked off of this team. Steve's sending me to work for Stark until this mission's finished."

"What? Why? It's me who should be punished, not you, and who is this Stark anyway?"

"He's a friend and a colleague. Steve thinks our friendship is endangering the rest of the crew. I've told him that splitting us up is ridiculous but he won't listen."

"I'm so sorry, I caused this. I flipped out over something so stupid. I should have known you were just training, hell, you told me you were, but my mind skipped over the rational part."

"No, Bucky, it's not your fault. You couldn't help it, you were just doing what you thought was right." I intervened solemnly.

"But what I think is right sometimes isn't. HYDRA still have a hold of me, I know that, and sometimes they still have a hand in my decisions."

"You've made progress though, a lot of progress, and that's a good thing." I tried to encourage him to look at the positive side of things

"Thanks to you. If it had been someone different in your place I don't know what I would have done. I definitely wouldn't be how I am now." I smiled at his confidence in me

"I'm glad I helped you. That's all I could have hoped for, but all that's over now, you'll get given a new therapist and I'll be filing paperwork for one of the most self-obsessed people I know." I had to bring this conversation to a close somehow. It was hard enough as it was to leave, if we kept talking it would have been harder. "I have to go, I just thought I'd come by and say goodbye."

"I don't want you to go..." Bucky said in the smallest voice I'd ever heard. His beautiful blue eyes glazed over with tears and I caught his bottom lip quiver slightly. Jesus Christ, I had no idea why but this hurt so much more than I thought it would.

"I know, I don't want to either, but I have to. Captain's orders." I said sombrely before getting up and making my way out of the room. Just as I reached the door, I grip on my shoulder shocked me into turning around, only to be faced by Bucky's chest as he pulled me in for a bear hug. I returned the hug for as long as I could before I broke down into tears when he whispered

"Thank you." in my ear and squeezed me slightly.

"You're welcome." I whispered in return, pulling out of the hug, kissing his cheek and watching his face disappear as the door closed between.

I got my orders that night. I was to be flown out of the base at 11 a.m. To Stark Tower where I'd be working as Tony's assistant/personal secretary for the remainder of the mission. After that information came, I had a sleepless night. I couldn't stop thinking about Bucky.

In the morning, I woke up after maybe two hours of sleep at most and trudged to breakfast. Everything I looked at seemed bland and unappetizing so I settled for a glass of water and went back to my room to pack up the rest of my things.

When the private jet arrived, everyone came out to see me go. Steve apologised, Sam gave me a gentle one-armed hug so he wouldn't cause more pain to his injured neck, Natasha said nothing, as usual, she just stood by and watched, and Bucky was kept inside so I didn't even get to see him one last time. The flight was only two hours but it felt like so much longer and when I landed at JFK airport, the limo ride felt even longer. I finally reached Stark Tower and couldn't think of anything other than being shown my room so I could sleep, or at least the kitchen so I could eat away my feelings, but, alas, when I arrived, I was greeted by an eager Tony Stark who showed me to my lavish new room, complete with four poster bed, a wall to wall window, which, admittedly, gave an incredible view of the city and lead out onto my own private balcony, 50 inch TV, and en-suite bathroom. Just as I was about to drop my bags and dive face first onto the bed, Tony spoke up.

"Oh, by the way, I have some errands for you to run when you've un-packed your things." he grinned his award-winning smile before swiftly exiting the room and leaving me no time to bargain with him. No sleep for me then, it looks like I'll be running solely on coffee from now on.