Lost? Chris Martin fanfic

Chapter 8

The rest of the night went really well we chatted about everything and nothing, we were sat kind of cuddling up on the sofa under a fluffy blanket, then out of nowhere Chris turned to me and said, "Why did you invite me here tonight?" Why did I? I have no clue, I don't want to say that it is because I care about him because it might come off a bit weird. "I don't know, I guess I just wanted to make sure you are ok-" I was about to continue when he put a finger to my lips to silence me, he pulled me into a tight warm hug, "Thank you Millie." He whispered. "Hey Millie, can I ask you something?" He looks embarrassed like he is really debating whether or not to ask me, "Yeah what is it?" He hesitated for a moment, "Can I stay the night? Just because the reporters and stuff wait outside of my house and I don't want to deal with them-" He blushed, "Of course you can stay the night, I'll show you to the spare room." We walked past my room I showed him where the bathroom is and then where the spare room is. "Chris I'm gonna go to bed now but you can stay up and watch TV or something."

He looked behind me probably at the door that is locked, I haven't had time to do anything with my stuff in there yet, "What is that room?" He asked, his face looks confused, "That is going to be my music room, I haven't had chance to decorate in there yet or arrange my stuff." I was hoping he wouldn't want to go in because it's really messy, " What do you play? Can we go in?" Of course he would ask to go in. "I play piano and guitar, it's really messy in there, so sorry in advance." He walked ahead of me and entered the room, as you enter straight in front of you is my grand piano which was handed down to me from my grandma, and to the left there were two guitars and acoustic and an electric one, I'm not very good on guitar but I still try, I've recently learnt The
Scientist on the piano from YouTube videos, other than the 3 instruments the room is plain there are all my albums on shelves in one corner and there are vinyls in another corner, there is then just clutter filling the room but what's worse the clutter or the fact that it's all pictures of me and jake and other bits like gifts he had bought me when we were together. I hadn't gotten round to binning them yet, you know with being stabbed and hospitalised.
It took me a while to come back to reality but Chris was stood holding one of the pictures of me and Jake in our navy blue scrubs. I sighed. "Who is this? Is it your boyfriend?"  I felt a lump forming in my throat my eyes were watering, "H-he was." I looked away as I spoke. "What do you mean 'was'?" Chris paused for a moment, then a look of realisation crossed his face "Oh my goodness I'm so sorry I didn't mean to-" Wait does Chris think he is dead? "He's not dead Chris." He turns to me looking confused, "He might as well be." I muttered under my breath. I taste a salty tear in the corner of my mouth and walk out of the room.

I lock myself in the bathroom and slide down the door, I pull my knees up and bury my head in my hands, and feel more of the salty tears falling down my face. It is in this moment that it hits me like a truck, our entire relationship was a lie, one and a half years of my life were I lie. I thought back to all the times he said he loved me and I cringe at the thought that he never meant it not even once. "Millie?" Chris was still here I forgot that he is staying, "Camilla." His voice sounded serious now, "Camilla if you don't open the door I will knock it down." I tried to stop the tears, "Look I don't know what happened with him and you, but you don't deserve to be sat alone crying, let me in, I want to help." His voice softened, I want to break my walls down and tell him everything, but I've done it too many times before, I stumbled to my feet and opened the door, Chris' face looked hurt like he couldn't see me like this, "I'm sorry Chris" I said between sobs. "Hey you don't need to apologise, I'm here for you." I'm here for you I've heard those words enough times to know that they mean nothing, you let someone in, they use your weakness against you. "Thank you Chris I'm going to bed now goodnight." My voice is still shaky, I drag myself to bed and drift off to sleep straight away.