Blood Wolf

9: Scared and Stressed

 I woke up to a pounding headache and a bright light dancing around behind my eyelids. Cautiously I opened them, only to close them up immediately. Who the fuck has lights this bright? I thought to myself as I tried to lift my hand to shield my eyes.

My body felt heavy, my movements slow and dragging. It seem to take forever before I was able to get my hand over my eyes. By the time I did all thoughts about getting up were lost, I only wanted to drift back into a comfortable sleep.

Then everything hit me, all the events of….this morning? Yesterday? I wasn’t sure how long but I knew the soft, lush bed I was on wasn’t right. I should have been on the cold, hard ground underneath the massive tree I fell in to.

Well more like shoved into, I remember the lingering scent of John as I ran through the woods and then out of nowhere the hard body that slammed into mine, causing me to go head first into that damned tree.

Shooting up from the bed, I wobbled a little as the room spun. The sickening smell of cleaner and steel filled my nose as I did my best to look around as my eyes adjusted to the light. The bright ass white room held three beds and two chairs that lined the wall near the door.

Clearly this wasn’t a hospital, seeing as it lacked all the necessary medical equipment, but it did remind me of an infirmary. One that I had once seen on a display telly while walking past a small electronic shop.

If that was the case, then I wasn’t lucky enough to make it off Ryker’s territory. Someone had caught me and brought me back. Shit! Sod it all to hell, I guess I didn’t put as much distance between us as I had thought.

Just as I was trying to steady myself enough to creep to the door, it opened and in walked the lil git whose scent had thrown off my concentration in the woods.

“OH! You’re up…. How are you feeling?”

He looked me over with concern lacing his eyes, his tone soft and gentle as if he actually cared about me. Funny, I thought. Wasn’t he the one encouraging Devin to take me out back and show me a lesson not more than a few days ago? His previous endearments ran across my mind as I stared at him.

“Don’t worry, this lil cunt can handle a little bump to her head.”

I sneered as he stopped mid-stride. Hanging his head in…shame? He shuffled from one foot to the other as he let out a heavy sigh.

“I’m sorry about that. I just….I-I….I’ve never met a rogue that didn’t mean to hurt me or the people I love. I’m sorry I judged you unfairly.”

The sincerity in his voice tugged at my heart as he looked at me with grief rimmed eyes. The feeling of worthlessness and dishonor washed over me as tears threaten to well. I felt like I had done a great wrong that would follow me around forever, no matter what, I would always feel like this.

What the fuck was wrong with me?! I hadn’t done anything….ok scratch that, I did leave Tristian and Ryker but that was for their own good! I’ll only end up hurting them, I was the monster that John had feared, I was the rogue who would hurt him and all those he loved.

Warm arms wrapped around me as small sniffles filled the air, tensing, I pushed back. Flinging him into the nearby concrete wall. A loud ‘OOMF’ sounded before he slumped down to the ground.

“Shit! I’m sorry! I’m not use to people touching me!”

I said as I ran over to check him out, relief flooded me along with amusement and wonder. What was going on with my emotions? It was like I had two sets of emotions playing out inside me and my body couldn’t tell them apart so I ended up feeling them all.