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I find it hard to contain myself. There's a mix of wanting to explode with happiness, and keep it on the down-low because I like this secret mysterious bubble I have. If I tell the world about the new agreement being formed, it only makes this whole situation more permanent. The thought of that is still very unsettling. I can't figure out if I'm just nervous because of the commitment or the new expectations I'm about to again. Whatever it is, I need a head space changer and something else to bury my head in.
The taxi slows in front of the hotel as Dad pays the driver in a wad of green bills. I'm delighted to unclick the seat belt and remove myself from the vehicle. Somehow long car trips and showers turn into the best places to contemplate life's toughest decisions.
"How are you feeling?"
I look up from the sidewalk and meet Dad's eager blue eyes. There's something about the pitiful look consuming his face which tears at my heart strings and makes me want to confess all of me woe's. But not today.
"I feel great!" I tug on a smile and hold eye contact.
After everything that's happened today, I don't have a reason to feel gloomy or beat myself up on something so trivial. If I sleep on the pressing matter, perhaps the promise of tomorrow will bring an insightful acceptance or decision for the record label.
Del Ray Recordings looks amazing – everything from their awards to character design makes that place feel like a second home, and that's something I really want in a recording studio. With my father as my lawyer, it's not like I'm going to be selling my soul to the devil for this deal. He would never let me enter an agreement if it wasn't a good one.
"Don't forget to tell your mother, and your sister," Dad says.
"I won't," I reply as I walk inside the hotel room.
News like this is certainly something I want to share with my mother, sister and best friend Lucy. While I do like this bubble of mysteriousness, I'm very eager to share the amazing news with the people I love.
I flop onto my bed and pull my phone out of my bag. I tap on the contacts app and pull my mother's number up. There's no hesitation as I tap on the call button and press the device against my ear. I listen to the dial tone and shake my knee with anticipation.
"Answer the phone, answer the phone," I grumble under my breath.
"Hey Riley, how is everything going?" she asks.
"I'm just calling to-"
"Oh, what happened with the label?" she cuts me off, excitement filling her voice.
"Really good so far. Dad is preparing the documents to sign, so hopefully everything will be cleared up come Monday," I explain, "then what happens after, I'm not very sure about."
"That's amazing news, baby. I'm very excited for you. And whatever happens next, I hope you know your father and I will support your endeavours. You are not alone." Those words are comforting and send a tingling feeling through my spine.
"Thanks Mum, I'm ecstatic as well. And I really appreciate your support and guidance – I don't know where I would be without you." I push myself up from the bed and shuffle across so that I'm near my suitcase on the floor.
"Have you got anything planned to celebrate?" she asks, "hopefully your father is taking you out somewhere."
"Dad and I already planned on going out for dinner before this happened," I say, "But I guess it could be counted as a celebratory dinner." I flip my suitcase open with my foot and stare down at the jumble of clothing and shoes.
"Still exciting, have you decided what to wear and your make-up?"
"I packed that lavender dress I wore to school dance previously. I only put one option in the suitcase, didn't think I would need the first," I explain, "But I'm excited for this first option because I have a cute pain of heels and some nice eyeshadow to match the colour."
"This is why you pack options for everything." She laughs lightly. "But I'm glad you're happy with the dress and the fact you can wear it again."
"I will endeavour to take that advice into my stride." I giggle.
"You should get ready, and don't forget the photos!" She reminds. "I want to see how beautiful you look."
"I'll make sure to take some before I leave," I promise.
"Thank you. It'll be nice to scrap book some of these photos."
"Sure, if you like." I shrug my shoulders.
"Now, you should go and get ready. I bet your father will be dragging you out of the hotel early for dinner."
"Should I expect a knock on the bathroom door when it's been more than five minutes?" I laugh.
"I won't have to pay for that water bill, so go for your life." She chuckles along with me.
"I'll start getting ready, but I'll talk to you soon."
"Talk soon baby." The phone call ends, and I'm left with a bitter sweet feeling. I don't want to interrupt anything Lucy might be tangled in, so I send her a text message explaining things are working out well on my end and that I will provide details later on. I don't want to say too much in a message in fear someone else might read it and start connecting unwanted dots.
There's a soft knock on the door, which pulls me away from my phone and my attention to the doorway.
"Riley?" he softly calls out.
"Yes?" I ask.
"I have a pressing matter to attend to," he starts to explain.
Dread swirls through my body, of course. The reality of the situation comes crashing down. Dad has never done bonding time with either Hannah or I, why would he start now? Dad has always had his head in the corporate world, why, I'm not entirely sure. I've always wondered if it's my fault, if I haven't made him proud enough, or if it's just something he's always done. From missed school assemblies, sport events to special outings, I question my worth to him all the time. Dad was there, but he was never really there.
"- so I'm going to need you to meet me down in the entrance when you are ready to leave," he finishes.
I find myself smiling. "Yes, I'll meet you down there within an hour, okay?"
"I'll see you within the hour." He nods.
Dad closes the door as he leaves – then shortly after, I can hear him leaving through the front door. The echoing sound of wood clattering against metal leaves a tingling feeling inside my body. I've got the chance to let free and dress up for an eloquent dinner, why am I being so gloomy?
