Chapter 1: Welcome To My Fucked Up Life
Have you ever been so disliked that you were punched just for making the wrong facial expression? That you didn't have any friends at all? Probably not. I've known this life since I was six, when my fellow students used to push me off the swing set and steal my lunch. I've never been popular. Not that I want to, but it would be nice to have a taste of friendship, ya know?
"Brooklyn, you'll never amount to anything." My sister Claire hissed as she went through her clothes for the first day of school. At any other age I would've cried, thinking I didn't deserve to be treated like that and that I had done nothing wrong. But I was slowly beginning to believe her now. Maybe I was hopeless. Maybe I was a bitch, slut, hoe, ugly, stupid, worthless, etc. I nodded, agreeing with her. I'd never had a boyfriend, never had a true friend, even my parents hated me. I had to stop living in a fairytale world where everything would be OK in the end. Those happy endings were in books and movies, not in my life.
'You're ridiculous' a little voice in my head yelled. You see, even I hate myself. How can I expect anyone to like me if I can't even bring myself to love myself? My clock read 5:00. That meant I only had an hour to get ready. I jumped up and began shuffling through all of my clothes choices. I had tons of clothes, but for some reason I just didn't feel like wearing any of them. When I had gone clothes shopping this summer, I made a point to choose emo clothes, in hopes to attract the other emo kids that went to my school. Too bad the other emo kids hated me, too.
I ended up picking this (http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=41647439) which was a Black Veil Brides shirt, ripped skinny jeans, black and gold bracelets and black nailpolish/eyeliner. I'll admit, I didn't look bad. I actually looked really good. I lost weight over the summer, even though I wasn't overweight to begin with. I looked really thin. My eyes were a hazel green and the eyeliner made them pop out. There was nothing wrong with my looks, but there was everything wrong with my personality.
I tear rolled down my cheek but I stopped. If I cried now, my freshly put on makeup would smear, which would be a mess since I only have ten minutes. I quickly straightened and teased my raven black hair, which didn't take long since I have mastered that now. I also managed to get a blueberry poptart with some milk. I brought it on the car ride. My sister is 17, so she can legally drive. I'm only 14, almost 15. It sucks being the youngest, because if I don't suck up to my sister, that means I have to ride the bus, and riding the bus means another black eye.
I slid into the car seat next to Claire in the back. Claire told me that she didn't want me to ever sit next to her because it would ruin her reputation and she was afraid she would get my germs. I sighed and laid my head on the back of the leather seats, blasting my iPod. Music was the only thing that kept me from going over the edge. It was my last chance. If music stopped being produced, I would stop living, simple as that.
Claire drove so fast that we were there in only five minutes, even though it should have been a ten minute car ride. Everyone knows the reason why she tries to get to school so fast. She has sex in the school field with the jocks. My ony friend Jaylen told me she saw her once. I was mortified, but what else can I expect from Claire? Claire is the biggest slut ever. She has cheated on every single boyfriend she's ever had, and she acts like they are one of her many fake hair extentions that she can just 'throw away' when they get old.
I opened the car door and happily got out. The smell of smoke in the car was driving me crazy. Claire thought it would be cool if she smoked, even though I have asthma. She could care less about my health. Sometimes I wonder if we're even truly related. We look nothing alike, and we have totally different personalities.
Jaylen came running up to me, smiling. I hadn't seen her in weeks, because she went on summer vacation and I was left to do nothing but sleep and dream and climb trees in my backyard. "You look amazing Brooklyn! You've changed your looks since last year!" Jaylen said excitedly. "I know! We better get inside though, I'm not familiar with the high school" I admitted. We were freshmen, which meant we were high schoolers, which meant we only had four more years left in this hellhole.
