The key to my heart! (ZALFIE)

Bringing back the past.

Alfie

Yes it was her, it had to be. I didn't care though, she just broke my heart. Yes, i heard her screaming at me. Screaming my name, but i was numb. Too numb to do anything, too numb to care, too numb to remember how much i loved her.

I was feeling so much pain that i just went home and cried. I wasn't even sad anymore. I was full of hate. Hate for Jack, and lots for Zoe. I hated everything, EVERYTHING, even myself. I wanted to know why i wasn't good enough for her, why she didn't like me. If i could go back in time i would make sure i never met zoe.

Zoe

I don't know what to do. I am at Alfie's house. I grab the knocker and hold it in my hands for at least five minutes while i think it over.

Alfie is my best friend. I like him more than a friend. He doesn't know that. He dosn't like me back. I need help relaxing. I want him to give me a hug and calm me down. He didn't answer when i knocked earlier today. He said he was sick and resting at home all day on twitter. He must be avoiding me. He still doesn't know i had the panic attack. He doesn't know why I wasn't at Starbucks.

I knock once. Then it hits me. OH GOD. He hates me. He hates me! HE HATES ME!! I don't knock again but i still hold the knocker in my hand. My eyes sting, tears threatening to fall. I run away when i realize that he may have heard my first knock. I run, I don't go back to my house, I will only be questioned there. Instead, I head for the park, my safe place. The place that used to be my second home. I come here when i am upset to remind myself that life can be good. That life is worth living.

I, Zoe Sugg, will admit that I have had some problems in the past. It started when i was fifteen. I was raped. I fell into depression and had extreme trust issuses. No one knows that, except my family, not even Alfie. This is why i refused to have sex with Jack. I am afraid it will bring back all the memories that I have been trying to burn. After this I started self harm, not even my family knows about this. I have stopped, but i've come so close to doing it again more than once. It is times like this when i rely on the park. I have no one close enough to me to tell. (Again, trust issues.) The park is the one thing that has kept me alive all these years. And of course, YouTube!

Alfie

I was so angry. I started banging my fists against my wood desk. It hurt, but that pain was better than emotional pain right now. I kept banging my fists, over and over again. Eventually i felt something sticky on my hands, i knew it was blood. It didn't scare me, not after what i have gone through in my past.

Then i did something I have not done for a very long time.....

A.N

Hello everyone. I have noticed some people reading my book. Thank you! I'm not sure if i should continue this story or not. I have not been getting any feed back. No one has told me if they like the story or not, so.......... I may or may not continue with this, i guess it depends on if i get any feed back.

Also, what do you think Alfie does? I think its pretty obvious, but... I want to see if you guys know.

Okay enough of me blabbering. back to the story! Emma <33!