Peace Through Pain

not so normal morning

I'm in a dark room, so dark that it could go on forever. A void rid of any kind of stimulation. I desperately look around for any source of light but, there seems to be none.

Suddenly, I hear a low growl from behind me. I feel my heart speed up, and as if on cue, the sound surrounds me, creeping in on me, paralyzing me with fear.

Just barely through the darkness I can make out the shape of a dog the size of a horse. Heart racing, I fall to the ground and pull my knees to my chest.

I can hear it's heavy breath, the growling seems to have stopped but that does nothing to ease my fear, like the calm before the storm. Sure enough the breathing stops too and the the only thing I hear is the deafening sound of claws against concrete, getting closer and closer until it too stops, and I feel the giant hound on top of me.

My eyes shoot open. I'm awake but there's still something on top of me.

"Wallace! What have I told you about sitting on me while I'm still asleep?"

I push the old cat of the bed only getting a hiss before he scampers out of my room. I check my alarm clock.

6:30 I should get ready to school.

I lazily push my comforter off my bed. I get up and walk towards my dresser, still feeling the pull of sleep on my eyes. As I open my dresser, I blink away the tiredness. I pull on my pants and slip on a loose sweater.

As I walk towards my mirror I grab a brush. As I brush through the curly brown bush that is my hair, I feel tiny pin pricks all over my scalp from the tangles that are currently being eradicated from existence.

Right before I leave my room I give myself the routine morning pep talk.

"Okay. Liam. Be as unnoticeable as possible. You know what happened last time you tried to actually have a social life."

I waltz down the stairs and jump off the last two. I'm greeted by my mom who already has my favorite breakfast made.

"Thanks for the bagel." I say with a cheery tone, biting into the perfectly toasted bagel.

"No problem, honey!" She chirps.

I look at the clock and have half a panic attack. I throw my hands in the air and with bagel still in mouth, yell,

"No, no, no, nonononono NO."

"What's wrong hon- OH NO! WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE YOU'RE GUNNA BE LATE!" And in one swift motion she grads my backpack opens the front door and shoves me out.

I sprint to my bus stop and, speak of the devil, it pulls up as I reach my destination. My lungs sting as I climb into the bus, I walk to the back and collapse into my seat. As I'm finishing my bagel I almost choke as I have another mini panic attack.

Shit! Do I have my orchestra book?

I play the bass so I can't practice without is, which means its pretty important. I quickly dig through my backpack, freaking out as I do so. I let out a breath that I had been holding. I take out my book and hold it up like its the Holy Grail.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-" I cut myself off as I hear my voice crack.

"Still going through puberty I see." I whisper to myself. The rest of the bus ride I used to finish homework. I get off the bus and start to walk the middle of the sidewalk, but then, I see Brendon. I immediately walk to the other side of the path, but I've been spotted. I look past myself hoping that he was looking at someone else, but of corse, he's not.

"Hey, buddy." He wraps an arm around my shoulder a bit too tight, and what little personal space I had has now been thrown out the window.

"How ya feeling?"

Honestly?

"A bit squished." He then proceeds to squeeze me tighter. The bell rings signaling that we have ten minutes to get to class.

"Wouldn't want you to be late to class now would we." He says in a slightly suggestive tone, although I'm not quite sure what he's suggesting. I start to walk away and he gives me a hard pat on the back.

As I open my locker something falls out. I bend down and pick it up.

A note?

I unfold it and am puzzled by the contents.

Dear Liam,

Meet me behind the sports shed.

-Rose

Weird, Rose is easily the hottest girl in school, and I'm just a brown poof of awkwardness. I shrug and go to my first class.

I go through my classes:
Language arts
Orchestra
Math
Science
Social studies
and a few other classes to get to the end of the day.

I probably shouldn't do this but-

I grab my backpack and head toward the shed. The closer I get my destination the more the sickening feeling in my stomach grows.

I turn the corner and the nervous smile is turns into instant regret.

Fuck, titty, ass, motherfucker.

I let out a defeated sigh and drag my hand over my face. I was staring straight at the whole of the lacrosse team

"Well, I'm surprised you took the bait." I turn around trying to escape but there are already people behind me.

They start to run at me and I have a flashback to this mornings dream. In no time there on top of me and holding me down, but I'm a scrawny kid and their the lacrosse team. Brendon walks up to me and bends down.

"I thought you were smarter than this."