Grey (Now Published!)

Prologue

Months From Now

Lights. 

Bright, swirling, head-pounding lights. Some white, some red, some yellow; they surround me, torture me. They are me. 

Shades and colors, they are illusions, puzzles. They distract the weak in a time of crisis, to help them find their way again, to direct them to their mind again. But not me. Not now. Not here. The lights are not my hero. 

Take a breath, I tell myself. You're alive, it's not over. 

I blink at the lights, my consciousness becoming stronger. And then I tilt my head, feeling my own blood swipe across my lips. I can't remember exactly what happened to make me pass out, but I can remember the events that led me to be lying here, with my hands tightly tied behind my back and my knees crushing into the cold ground as I attempt to sit up.

I know what's coming. I knew I had to make this choice the moment everything transitioned from the unsure grey to the stultifying black.

Grey was better. I liked the grey, the safest of shades. The in between of light and darkness, the contrast that keeps a heart beating even when it's close to stopping. While inside the grey there is still hope to be pulled into the white, to be alive again, but then, there's also the possibility of drifting into the black.

I am now in the black; bathed in it through layers of torn skin. 

Tainted. Decayed. Disengaged. Lost. Lost.

The events that led to this moment are sensitive and dark. Some moments brutal, some moments beautiful. Some moments forgotten, some moments frozen forever. I must believe that I can be stronger than what is about to greet me, that I can be better than the choice he will force me to make: choosing between them. Choosing who will die.

"Beth," a gentle voice calls across the short distance. "It's alright."

I meet his homely grey eyes that are riddled with homelessness, the eyes I have only just gotten used to seeing again after so long apart. And then they move to the eyes of the man next to him, the electrifying green. Two strong hearts beat next to each other, beating in fear, and they both belong to me. 

Everything around me is still a blur, but their faces are as clear as the clouds that part to reveal the blue sky. One heart I have loved for longer than I deserved to be loved back, and another I have tied my soul with when everything else seemed hopeless. They sit together, forced to their knees, their limbs shackled by chains.

"I made you a deal," a shadow says from behind their bodies. "You defied me. And now you must make a choice, Elizabeth. One must die, or they both die."

I hear the safety of a gun unlock, and I hold my breath. After everything I have been through, with both of them, I cannot save one above the other. I cannot love one more. I cannot find the courage to voice a decision. It wasn't supposed to be this way. We were supposed to be free. We were supposed to be white. White. 

"I'll count down from five," the shadow continues. "and if you don't give me the name of which traitor you want to see more dead than the other then I'll send them both to hell. Five. Four. Three. Two-"

I let out my breath.

"-One."