how many times am i going to recover from you?
how many times am i going to cry to others at 2 am about how you broke my heart
crying harder at the fact that they are comforting me and not you?
how many times am i going to trust that you've grown?
how many times am i going to finally say that i am over you
just for you to make me fall again
how many times am i going to make heartbroken playlists and obsess over sad poetry
all because you cannot decide if you care about me or not
i am better than this
i deserve more than a rehearsed apology
and empty condolences from others
because they do not know me like you
how many times am i going to make myself a fool to strangers
because everyone has heard how often i am destroyed by you
your mistakes have made me stronger
but i should not be used to feeling worthless and abandoned
ive pushed people away to make room for you
i have abandoned friends because you were everything i thought i needed
i deserve someone who knows what i am to them
who knows what they want from me
who knows how to learn from and grow when they make mistakes
not someone who apologizes and repeats
you are my moon
but you have eclipsed the light from my life so many times
that apocalypse has fallen on my world
your darkness has destroyed me
and i let it happen
only because I appreciated the beauty of you too much to ever let light shine through
how many times am i going to write this poem?
crying at night
dreaming of a better reality
i have written poems and sonnets in my head in your honor
i have dreamt of a reality with you
where you finally knew what i was to you
where i never felt fear about your words
i deserve happiness in more than just a dream
i deserve happiness everywhere
i have made mistakes
i have wronged you
but i have changed
i have bettered myself because without you
i feel that i am not myself
i feel that i cannot function
clearly your mistakes dont mean that much to you
and your world is just as bright whether i am there
or not
-------------------
This isn't a poem written by me. This is written by my friend Ace. They're a very talented writer, especially poet, and I love them dearly and I really hope they know what they mean to me. I'm not sure I would be alive without them.
YOU ARE READING
Deception
PoetryA collection of poems I've written over a couple of years. Hoping to be published someday. Excerpt --------- When in reality I feel everything from the death that was not mine, to the cuts I did not make. ( "Machine" )
