Bucky and His Widow

Rescue Mission

"Good night, Buck.  I hope you sleep tonight."

"Well, I'm sure I'll get some rest.  Goodnight Steve."  Bucky went into his room and changed into his pajamas and crawled into bed, feeling a bit tired from the past few days.  He smiled at the thought of the new flirtatious Agent Red and how helpful she has been on their last two missions from Fury.  She has been with the Avengers for about 3 weeks now.  He drifts into a slumber and slowly begins to dream.   

"Soldier?"

"Ready to comply."  The images racing through Bucky's mind were the faces of the myriad of victims he assassinated over those 50 years as the 'Fist of Hydra.'  He heard the echoes of their screaming and begging for their lives as he slowly choked the life out of them.  He was grateful for those he could shoot from a distance, he didn't  have to hear them suffer.  Hydra tortured him more by how they told him to kill their targets.  It seemed to echo in his mind until finally...

He wakes up.  Bucky had only been asleep for about 2 hours when he was startled awake by his violent nightmares.  He looked over himself, he was drenched in sweat and shaking, he could barely catch his breath.  "Sergeant Barnes, should I alert Captain Rogers?"  JARVIS spoke calmly to Bucky.

"N-no.  I can shake this off, if I need him, I'll tell you."  Bucky croaked out as he was shaking in between breaths and words.

"Yes, sir."

"Thanks, JARVIS."  Bucky changed his clothes and ran his fingers through his hair, he tried some breathing exercises he learned from Dr. Banner, but nothing is working for him.  Bucky walks out and goes into the common room with the TV.  He tries to focus on what Sam said about how to turn on the TV with the remote control.  He fiddled with it for a few minutes before giving up.  "JARVIS, could you please turn on the television?"

"Yes, sir."  JARVIS switched the TV on for Bucky.  "Shall I flip to the usual channel, Sergeant Barnes?"

"Yes, thank you, JARVIS."  The channel flipped to the Turner Classic Movies channel and "Gone with the Wind" was on, so Bucky decided to stay up and watch the film. 

"I love this movie!" 

"Shit!"  Bucky jumped a mile and practically fell over.  He looked up to see it was the flirtatious agent.  "Red?"

"I'm so sorry, Bucky.  I didn't mean to scare you, handsome!"  Belle sat down next Bucky and smiled.  Bucky was blushing, even though Belle couldn't see because it was dark.  "What are you doing up this late?"

"I uh-  had trouble sleeping."  Bucky started to tense up.

"Nightmare?"  Belle turned to face Bucky.  His hair was covering his face, he nodded in agreement.  "Talk to me, what was it about?"  Belle reached over and placed her hand on Bucky's flesh arm and squeezed it in a comforting manor.

Bucky faced Belle, "It was about the things I did under Hydra as the Winter Soldier.  All the people I killed...I remember all of them."  Bucky started to shake again.  Belle scooted closer and moved his hair out his face and behind his ear.  Bucky's mouth was agape at the affection Belle showed him, he loved it, but he was also afraid.  His voice began to shake as he continued,  "They turned me into a monster...a horrible-"

"You're not a monster, Bucky."  Belle calmly stated as she tried to sound lulling.

"How can you say that?  You have no idea what I did, Red."  Bucky moved his arm out of her grasp and lowered his head into his hand. 

"Bucky, that wasn't you.  The Winter Soldier is not you.  You're Bucky Barnes, a Howling Commando, a hero, Steve's best friend, and you're my friend too."  Bucky stopped shaking and looked over to see Belle's comforting smile and sweet eyes staring into his.  "You're no monster, if anyone here is a monster, it's me."