The Babysitter ✯ Kellic

Chapter Twenty-Five

In the time it took Vic to drive Oli home after we had all hung out for a couple of hours, come back, and then make out with me on the couch for a long while, Mike still wasn't home. Honestly, I feel like I'm being protective over him, and he's just my friend. When Vic gets protective, it's because Mike is his younger brother. Mike is the only thing on my mind, though, which kind of turned me off when Vic was kissing me. I guess he noticed too, because after a while he breaks apart from me and gives me a weird look. "Okay, Kellin, seriously, what's up with you?" he asks.

I shrug, not planning on telling him anything about Mike. If it's nothing I don't want to get Vic all worried. "Is it because of what we did this morning? If I ever go to far, you know you can tell me," he says, grabbing my hand. I shake my head before resting it on his shoulder. I actually loved this morning, it was just right to me. "Then what is it, babe?" he asks in a worried tone.

"While you were picking Oli up, I read a really freaky thing about babies online," I lie. He rubs my shoulder and I snuggle closer to him, appreciating the gesture. "It's nothing to worry about, though. I'm just thinking too much about it." I play with my hands in my lap and take a deep breath, trying not to think about anything but how Vic and I are right here. That's all that matters.

"I have an idea for how to take your mind off things..." he says quietly, his hand moving down from my shoulder to my hip. "Twice in one day would be a new record," he says. I laugh slightly and look at him. He's staring at me, the strangest look in his eyes. I know it isn't lust, and it isn't some kind of disappointing look, either. I tilt my chin higher and allow him to kiss me. He takes the opportunity and I just bask in the feeling of his lips moving in rhythm with mine.

"Gross, get a room!" Mike yells sarcastically, closing the front door behind him on his way in. Vic's lips quickly snap off of mine and he looks the opposite way at Mike. I stare at my knees and how the lower half of my legs starting at my knees fold under the higher part. I can't even look at Mike until Vic goes to bed and I get my opportunity to speak to Mike without him hearing.

"Hello to you, too," Vic says, getting up. I frown at the newfound lack of warmth where he used to be sitting. I decide to just go upstairs until Vic comes up, that way I can leave and talk to Mike. I go to Copeland's nursery and let her out of her crib. I grab the crate full of her toys and put it down next to her, sitting cross-legged on the floor. She grabs a marker and it reminds me of the first time I left Vic alone with Copeland.

We ended up having to paint over the mural of Copeland Vic painted because I don't know what the people who might move in would think. Plus, I don't want everybody seeing how adorable my baby is. I slide Copeland a piece of paper clipped onto a clipboard, pointing to it. "Draw on the paper," I instruct. She draws simple lines and I smile, loving every second we spend together.

She pushes the completed paper back to me and I smile. Almost as if on cue, Vic walks in and turns the bright lights on. I glance at him and see that he's grinning. "I'm going to bed now. You probably should too, you have school tomorrow," he says, turning the lights back off. "Goodnight."

" 'Night, babe," I respond, standing up. I put Copeland back in her crib, deciding that I'll put the toys up later. I kiss her forehead and whisper a goodnight before quietly walking downstairs. I navigate to Mike's room and knock on the door. Anxiety is shooting through me, but I try my best to ignore it.

"You can open the door, it isn't locked, Kellin!" he yells through the closed door. I do as he says and walk in, closing it behind me. He turns the page of a magazine in his hands (something about tattoos) and looks up at me. "What's up?" he asks over the quiet music playing on his radio.

"How'd you know it was me knocking?" I ask, sitting down on the bed next to his seat in a beanbag chair. He closes his magazine and tosses it next to me.

"Vic knocks a specific way every time, and I doubted it was Copeland," he replies. I laugh and sit back slightly, leaning my back against a wall. "Anyway, what's up?" he repeats. How do I even put what I'm about to say? I don't want to hurt Mike, but I need to let him know that he's worrying me. The only way to say this without seeming like a snoop is to lie.

So that's what I do. "This morning, I uh, had a really bad headache and I needed some medicine. Vic was in our bathroom, though, so I went into yours and looked in the cabinet behind the mirror," I lie. Something flashes through his eyes, but it's hard to tell what he's thinking. "I saw a lot of prescription pills in there, but the ones that were facing towards me said they were for Tony. Why do you have Tony's medication?" I question.

"I guess he left it here," he says, shrugging. I flash him a skeptical look and he avoids my eyes. "I know about you, Kellin. Vic told me shit, so don't you go acting all innocent," he says suddenly, not sounding too pleased. My eyes widen at his comment. "Fine, Tony and I were taking pills, so what? It's not that big of a deal."

"Since you say you 'know about me', I guess you know that I started with pills," I say simply, He looks up at me, but there's no shame in his eyes like I was expecting. "I guess you know that I almost died multiple times." The shame finally begins to be noticeable in his eyes. "But, it's not that big of a deal, is it?"

"What am I supposed to do?" he asks quietly, his voice beginning to quiver. I open my arms and he reluctantly leans into them, taking in my hug. "It's fucking bullshit, Kellin. Tony fucking warned me about it, and then I turned my back on him. Tony was the only person besides Vic who even seemed to give half of a shit about me, and he just fucking abandoned me!" he practically yells.

"Wait, you have like ten bottles of Tony's pills, and you said you guys were getting them. Why would he get mad at you for something he was a huge part of?" I question.

"I-I lied," he says, slowly breaking away from me. "My dickhead of a friend and I were getting pills under Tony's name, and he told us to cut that shit out. But we didn't..." he explains. I rub his arm and take a deep breath. "I've wanted to quit this shit for such a long time now, but it's like I'm suffocating every fucking time I try. How did you do it?"

"When Copeland was born, I realized that I would be hurting somebody I loved by doing that shit. If I kept an act like that up, I could risk losing the thing I care about most," I explain. "Guilt your way out of it: every time you think about doing something harmful, remember that you're hurting Vic. Me, even, if I even matter at all to you."

Mike nods. "What we need to do right now is get rid of every bottle but one. I'm gonna get Vic's keys, and we're gonna do more than just throw the bottles away." He thanks me repeatedly and I brush it off with a small smile.

But, I know it's easier said than done.