A Fresh Start

The Realization

Author's Note: I own nothing. I just like to play with the characters that were created by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.

Also, thank you for those of who have commented and offered well-wishes in my difficult time. It means a lot to me. Writing these stories has been my strength (as silly as that sounds) and has grounded me.

Rated M for future lemons (they will come!). I have a mini lemon for you today! Woo hoo!

Chapter 12: The Realization

We spent so long sharing our feelings; the dinner that Edward brought from La Bella Italia is cold. I reheated the food in the microwave and we ate in a comfortable silence, soft jazz wafting through my home. I looked up at Edward and I felt so guilty. He tells me that he loves me and I flounder. What the hell is wrong with me? Edward notices my guilty stare and he frowned.

"What's wrong, beautiful?" he asked.

I snapped out of my guilty trance and gave him a smile. "Nothing," I answered quickly.

"You're lying, Isabella," Edward growled. "You're thinking too hard. What's the matter?"

"Are you mad?" I blurted. I covered my mouth with my hands and buried my face against the table.

"Mad? Why would I be mad, Bella?" he asked incredulously. "Is it because you didn't say you loved me back?"

I nodded and sniffled. "I want to say it. In my heart and in my head, I feel it but I'm so afraid."

"Bella, you are in a different stage in this relationship than I am. I've been through the ringer. If I had met someone within the first few months of Tanya's death and they professed their love for me, I'd be in the same boat. I understand that your relationship with your ex-husband wasn't necessarily the most conducive for a good, loving marriage, but it's all that you've known. It's my job as your boyfriend and possibly more, to help you see that you deserve all the happiness in the world. The way you treat me and care for me shows me that you love me on some level," Edward said as he knelt in front of me. "I'll wait. Just like I promised at the barbeque. When you're ready, you'll tell me."

I brushed a wayward hair off his forehead and wrapped my arms around his neck. "What did I do to deserve you, Edward?"

"I could ask the same, Bella," Edward chuckled against my shoulder. "However, I've got to move. My knees are barking."

"Then get off the floor, silly," I giggled as I released my hold on his neck. He gracefully got up, but his knees cracked. "Ouch."

"Yeah, ouch," Edward said. "I ran this morning and I took a miss-step. I think I jacked up something."

"Go sit in the family room and I'll give you something," I said as I pointed to my couch. "It saved me when I was gimpy."

I went into the freezer and grabbed a blue icepack. I stuck it in a Velcro pouch and walked to where Edward was sitting. "Which body part?" I asked. Edward pointed to his left knee. I strapped the icepack to his knee and placed a pillow underneath for some support. "You should take better care of yourself, Dr. Masen," I scolded.

"I wanted my nurse to take care of me," he purred seductively.

"If you think I'm wearing a tiny white dress and one of the nurse hats, you're sadly mistaken, buddy," I said, putting my hands on my hips.

"A guy can dream, right?" Edward laughed.

"Keep that on until I'm done with dishes, 'Hop Along,'" I commanded.