A Fresh Start

The Reality

Author's Note: I own nothing. I just like to play with the characters that were created by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.

Also, thank you for those of who have commented and offered well-wishes in my difficult time. It means a lot to me. Writing these stories has been my strength (as silly as that sounds) and has grounded me.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me. More than you can imagine. These stories (this one in particular) are my babies and I adore the reviews and comments I receive. Much, much love to ALL of you!

Chapter 18: The Reality

BPOV

I'm dating a fucking saint. I'll tell you that.

I lost my shit. I mean lost it. My heart was pounding. My head was spinning. My breath was shallow. I wanted nothing for it all to end. All of it. But, Edward calmed me down. He faced my wrath, which was unpleasant, but he calmed me down. He rationalized and made me come to grips that I was in no state to stay in my condo. I was fucking losing it with him there. What would happen if he left?

You'd slice your wrists.

We wouldn't want that. No sir. Nope. Nope. Nope. That would just royally suck and yeah.

After we got back to Edward's house, I unpacked my bags while Edward cooked. He told me to put my clothes in the closet, using up whatever space I needed. We ate a quiet dinner. I wasn't in the mood to talk. Edward didn't press me. Once we finished our dinner, I excused myself to go to bed. I showered and brushed my teeth. I crawled into the sheets and fell into a restless sleep.

I was aware of every sound. Every movement. Everything in that house. When Edward got into bed, I tensed up. Fearful that it was Mike. Edward crooned in my ear and held me tightly to his chest, spooning me to his body. My mind settled down after he came to bed, but I was rattled with horrendous nightmares. Being back in my condo triggered my memory. The attack that Mike did to me came rushing back and I never realized how brutal it was. With each nightmare, Edward held me close. He talked me down. He breathed with me. He calmed me. Loved me.

Why?

Around five in the morning, I rolled out of bed. Edward was still asleep but his face was furrowed in a sleepy grimace. I gently ran my fingers over his handsome features and he relaxed some. I put on a pair of workout pants, sneakers and t-shirt and grabbed my iPod. I put my ear buds in my ears and went for a walk. I needed to calm my mind. I pounded the pavement, walking to the beats of the music resounding in my ears. I walked until I felt my muscles in my legs scream at me. I walked until I couldn't anymore. I walked until I felt a sharp tap on my shoulder.

"Mrs. Newton?"

I pulled out my ear buds and looked at the person who was addressing me by that name. It was Mr. Molina. One of my neighbors. "Hi, Mr. Molina. How are you doing?"

"I'm good. I don't see you around much," he smiled, his black eyes twinkling.

"Oh, I don't live here anymore. Mike and I got divorced. He moved out in March and the house sold in late April," I said with a wave of the hand. "I live in a condo but I'm visiting a friend."

"Ah. That's a shame about your divorce, Mrs. Newton," he sighed.

"Swan. My last name is Swan," I said curtly.

"My apologies. Mrs. Molina and I have been together for thirty years. She deals with my cantankerous ass every day," he joked. "Bless her soul."

"You are not cantankerous, Mr. Molina," I laughed. "Mr. Banner. He's the grumpy one."