Childhood pixie dust

Why does life take you through an empty ride?

I wonder if instead of leaping into another city, if the same memories would still occur? If I just turned around and went home into the place where I ran barefooted as a child, would I be okay? I missed those nights where i would kiss my mother and father Goodnight. A place where my imagination ran wild, and my life was filled with pixie dust. I miss those days where I'd look into a mirror and wonder if I should wear my hair down or up. Instead I look in it and wonder how I could make myself feel beautiful.

Everything was like an old time camera, with a perfect montage barley flickering. Maybe it is all childhood dreams, and maybe I'm not the only one who feels this way. One day it's like your eyes open for the first time. They wake you up from a trance and you're in the real world.

I wasn't exactly born for greatness. A stupid child who pranced around lost. Possibly I worried teachers who wondered if I'd ever catch up. But the fact that I felt somewhat alive at those times is what really made me miss it. Who would ever want to be an adult? A place where your parents can't hold you at night.

You're thrusted into the odd and rustic, you're shoved into situations where you feel hopeless. Maybe if you're lucky enough you'll get life set. Highly unlikely. I feel myself taken through waves of depression. Will I be able to pay for college? Will I be able to get a job after college? Will I ever find someone to make me happy? Will I ever be able to tell her I love her?

Will I ever convince my mom that it's not a phase? I question everything, I question myself because just like the other young adults like me, I'm swimming in tar and I'm hopeless.

I just hold onto my dreams and hope that with every gray day I get closer to figuring it all out. I'm just a hopeless teen, floating through life, under synchronization with what the world planned for me.