Becoming Perfect

Chapter 3: just discussing your slutty nature.

The next day was easier.
It was raining in the morning so I could wear a baggy sweater with jeans and no one gave me a second glance.

I tried though. My hair in a cute loose messy bun makeup on and some adorable boots.

My need to be perfect is strong. Guess that's why I do what I do.

I'm really messed up.

When everyone around you is perfect including your parents and your responsible for a death what else do you do? Let it go? Be happy?
No
I don't deserve that.
I've never done anything to deserve that peace and potential happiness.

"Bianca?" Someone called from behind and I would bet my life it's Aria but that's not worth a lot.

"Hey Aria." I say turning around.

"Oh I'm glad I caught you. The gang is going to see a movie or something Saturday and we wanted to invite you. You know the welcome wagon and all that jazz." She said with actual jazz hands. "You busy?"
I barley had time to open my mouth when she answered for me.

"Great I'll text you the details. Bye Bianca!" And with that she was skipping away. "Bye" I said to thin air.

This school, and my life, is far from a cliché. There's no A-Listers group. No shunned nerds. No group of girls who wear way to much makeup hoping to join the popular group, which they never would cause half the time their used for their houses for parties. Everyone has their friends and no one really cares.

Of course there are bitchy and slutty girls and asshole guys and people have people they don't get along with but their there own person.

It's kinda great.

Half and hour later I was in science. I hate science, always have and probably always will, but that could be because I always fail.

The reason I always fail this class is either: a) I don't care or b) I'm stupid. Either ones okay.
Jenna is in this class though and apparently we're friends so naturally she sat next to me.

"You were invited to that thing Saturday right?" Was how she started the convocation.

"Yeah. And I'm going. I think I don't know I didn't  really say anything." I laugh softly.

"That's Aria. She always somehow gets her way. I don't know how she does it." She admits.

"She doesn't let the other person speak." She snorted at that. I liked Jenna. She wasn't one of those girls who steered away from certain food because she was afraid of breakouts, but she went to the gym 4 times a week. She didn't care if she laughed unattractively, but caught the attention of almost every guy in the room.

Almost the exact opposite of me. And exactly what I wish I was.

But that doesn't happen to people. Happy endings don't exist to everyone and fairytale romances hardly leave the secret of a book, of pen and paper, something make-believe. All they fairytales that sold ended in 'and they lived happily ever after.' But in real life that doesn't happen often because there are wars and people on anti-depressants and sitting in white rooms with no windows so they don't kill themselves. And people who don't speak about pain, but it's still there. That's not written in books.
Because no one wants that.
Everyone wants to hold on to that idea that fairytales happen and make-believe can be real life.

Some people find their bliss and their true love and something that they would not only just die for but live for, which sometimes is a lot more difficult and painful then death or a gunshot wound or cut mark, but some don't.