Rants And Other Random Shit

Fucked Up Dreams & Being Lonely

I'm writing this on my phone so sorry if there are typos or if it's shit but I need to rant and just spill everything.

You know how you kinda have a friend but you're not like best friends with them? Well, there's this girl and I'm like that with her and she just told us all that she's got three weeks to live because she's dying of cancer and of course my heart broke. I'm so fucking upset because she asked me and my friends to visit her but I don't think she likes me because she's ignoring all my messages and I can't visit her because I'm going to be in Europe and by the time I get back she will be dead. I'm making her a video with all these clips the group chat will send me saying how much they love her and we messaged laurelle and she's going to ask Troye & Tyde to make one which is cool but I'm scared Georgia won't like it and I'm scared.

Then there is the whole YouTube thing which is scaring me. It's what I wanna do when I'm older, it's all I'm interested in though it's not working and subscribers aren't going up and I'm not proud of my content and I'm really fucking sad because it's all I wanna do and it's my main passion and it's not working out and I'm so sad. I don't want to have a normal job, I wanna be creative and I wanna have fun. I want to do YouTube but it's not working out and it won't and I'm fucked literally.

I love you guys so much and I'm not looking for sympathy or attention, I promise. I've just gotta rant because there is no one else to rant to.

Love you all,
Jorja x