The Spare

IMMORTALS

They say we are what we are

But we don't have to be.

Live with me forever now

Pull the blacked out curtains down

And we could be immortals.

-Immortals, Fall Out Boy

My favorite bed time story when I was a little girl is Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. I had my mom read to me over and over again until I had the words memorized by heart. Alice is so brave. He went down the unknown and ended up making the most amazing time of her life. She pushed away the fear and lived in adventure. I wanted to be just like Alice. I wanted to believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast. A potion that can make you shrink. In a cake that can make you grow. That animals could talk and cats can disappear. To believe in a place called Wonderland and that I can slay a monster too. But. There is just always that but. I had to grow up and have awful things happen to me. I can't believe in six impossibilities anymore. I can't slay my monsters. Because if I could, they wouldn't be there haunting me even in waking life. I started to hide in myself and got so good in doing so that I've made myself invisible. The monsters can sometimes get through to my cocoon still. And when they do, everyone notices. Everyone is made to see, and I am made to feel the most terrible of things.

But when Luke took my hand, he made me feel invincible. Free from the bindings of past mistakes. If my life was a fairytale, Luke would be my night in shining armor. The one who saved the beautiful princess from the scary monster. I told Luke this but instead of a smile he had on a frown. "I don't wanna be your knight in shinning armor." He says. "Because a knight in shinning armor is someone whose never had his shield tested in battle. I would never rescue you from the monsters with so little experience Tyn. Because when I rescue you. I better damn well make sure I get you out." My response to this is to tighten my hold of his hand.

After running three blocks, Luke and I stopped at the small crowd gathered by the corner of the street. I hear music playing and with a little shove to get in front of the crowd, I saw the group of performers with acoustic guitars strapped in their shoulders playing to the tune of Flashlight. Luke leans in and whispers. "I've heard them many times and yet, I still find myself awed by the beauty of their music.

They start playing.

When tomorrow comes I'll be on my own

Feeling frightened of things that I don't know...

As soon as the first line was sung, I had hooked my hand over Luke's elbow and closed my eyes. My mom used to play me lullaby's in the piano. She'd come up with beautifully woven music on her own, and she'd play them to me. I remember sitting beside her on the piano bench, My tiny hands playing along the keys with hers. That was always the best part of my day. When my mom plays me her music. When she would look at me while her hands move through the keys and she would smile, saying "You inspired this one my princess." I would smile back to her and have her teach me how to play it until my fingers hurt. She would then kiss each of my fingers and the pain would go and we would practice again.

I got all I need when I got you and I

I look around me and see a sweet life.

I'm stuck in the dark, but you're my flashlight

You're getting me, getting me through the night.

The music continues, I tighten my hold on Luke's hand, eyes still closed. I delve back into the past and the tears I thought to have finally gone comes back. They race one after the other in a stream from my eyes down to my cheeks. I feel a hand brush them away. Luke let's go of my hand and pulls me into a tight embrace. He sings the last parts of the song with the performers, but it was a soft whisper in my ear.

Kick start my heart when you shine it in my eyes

I can't lie, it's a sweet life

I'm stuck in the dark

But you're my flashlight...

You're my flashlight...

The songs comes to an end. The crowd cheers and starts dropping cash in the opened guitar case on the ground. Luke kisses both my eyes and gives me a final hug. He pulled out his wallet and took out a couple of hundred dollar bills before dropping them in the guitar case. He turns to me and takes my hand again. He smiles that earsplitting boyish grin and I'm left to wonder what he has in store next for today.