We arrived in parade form with Ronald and Tiffani leading the way. I'm not gonna lie, she looked like she belonged on a red carpet instead of a freshly manicured lawn. Her makeup and hair were flawless, and her skin which was perfect without makeup had been given a bronzer airbrush look that made her blonde hair and perfect white teeth brighter. Her green eyes took on a grey sparkle as she nodded our way before disappearing into the crowd hanging on Ronald's arm.
We were all wearing dark hugging jeans and a pale blush cotton peasant short with gaps for shoulders and a scooped back, sling sandals and we all had matching DG bags. Just big enough to hide our change of clothes and make up, just small enough to look like they belonged at a party.
When we marched up the grass I truly thought my shaking was the start of a palsy. I told myself it was just an initiation, but seeing so many teens lounging around like it was a promo for club med made me nervous. Kids in strings with perfect bodies lounged around the pool drinking. Others danced on the patio under the lighted warmers.
The central hub was a fire pit in the middle of the yard. The boys lounged in the chairs and girls lounged on top of the boys like they were jungle gyms of testosterone.
The robot pack and I stuck together, mingling on the fringes, making sure to fake drink and be seen. As the night wore on the party noise level increases to ear bleeding level and I found myself feeling dazed and overstimulated.
It looked like an episode of True Blood. Bodies swirling on bodies like the incubus was sending out signals of horniness. Somehow I thought senior parties would be more than this, and while the drinks were better than keg beer, the attitudes were the same as they were in every situation. People vying for attention, tears, vomit, (no, not mine!!) and a few key characters taping on cell phones as ammunition for later.
The girls and I got a beep on our phones and I began to act full on drunk. I spilled my drink, wobbled around, and made an idiot of myself. Finally Tiffani marched over, her stilettos making tiny aeration holes in the plush lawn.
"I think you've had enough. Obviously your first party was a little to much to handle. Girls, take her home, and don't forget to ring the doorbell this time."
A circle formed and all eyes were on Tiffani and I, waiting like patrons at a piranha show to see if the seal gets eaten alive or makes it to shore. I put my eyes down, this wasn't about a standoff, it was about making an exit. The girls hoisted me up and my real life wobbly legs were thankful for the support.
The robot girls supported me until we were out of the back of the yard and in the empty front grass where they promptly dropped me in a heap.
Mindi crossed her arms and looked down at me like an ant. "Good show newbie. Now, let's see if you can pull off the encore. Time to strip you of your virginity."
The rest of them giggled. While I popped up and smoothed down my clothes. "What?"
"You're a murder virgin. Face it. It's time to join the ranks or die with the rest. Let's do this."
I wasn't sure if I'd just been threatened or given a pep talk. I was still trying to figure it out as we snuck up the staircase and into a room that smelled blissfully like warm brown sugar body spray. While I changed into my ninja clothes in the closet, Mindi snuck to the bottom of the stairs where Tiffani had Ronald waiting with a large cooler of ice that she dumped into the tub.
I exited the closet slowly. Unable to make my mind grasp that we were sitting in someone's bedroom waiting for them to enter the room so we could kill them. It just isn't something you learn to process.
We sat together, on the far side of the floor by the bed and ate veggie straws. For an hour or so it was just like hanging with weird friends who all wore the same style of clothing. Until the music downstairs stopped and clumping started up the stairs. Someone was struggling with the door and we all bolted into the closet like we were running from a psycho clown.
I could hear giggling and soon Tori and Steve's voices broke through the silence. They lay on the bed slurring and giggling, making out and undressing as much as drunk people can with limbs like rubber.
They tried to have sex, but by the time they got their clothes off Tori had completely passed out. Steve tried a bit of slapping and yelling and even tried making himself happy before stumbling back down the stairs to "find another girl who could hold up to the Stevester". Ugh.
As soon as he cleared the stairs the robot girls jumped into action. They turned Tori over and lay her on the floor beneath an unrolled shower curtain. Mindi pulled out a large switchblade. I was watching the doors and the balcony waiting for the prank team as she hand me the knife.
"Time to play with the big kids. And remember the theme. Cut out the kidney, but do it carefully and we place her in the tub and wait for her to wake up. It has to match the urban legend."
I stare at the knife, and at Mindi. I think about laughing but none of them look like they'll get the joke. I think for an instant about taking out the robot girls, I couldn't get in trouble for that right? I mean, they probably wouldn't even bleed. But in the end I just stood there staring and said "I'm not pre-med. I don't know how to remove a kidney."
The tall gangly blonde, whose name I learned was Amber, grabs it out of my hands and slices into Tori's exposed abdomen. She reaches her hand in and pulls out a handful of guts that don't look anything like a kidney. The blood starts pouring out and Mindi starts shoving it back in and makes another cut. She removed a spongy ball of something and all of us agree it does have resemblance to a kidney, only to get it over with.
We take the curtain with Tori on it over to the tub and dump her in. By the time we settle her into the ice the blood is pouring over everything looking like a Bloody Mary bath. Tori's skin has taken on a paleness so grey it has a blue tint. I reach in and check her neck and there's no pulse. She never moved or uttered a word.
The robot girls start swearing and Amber decided to try to give her CPR. She's standing over the tub smashing on Tori's chest and crying. I feel the floor spinning and grab the tub screaming at her to stop. Blood is flying and all I can think about is getting out. My mind suddenly starts flaring and I let loose a string of words.
"She said she didn't want to die. She called us robot bitches and said Tiffani was a cheap hooker. She tried to bribe us to call the police and we stayed loyal."
The girls stopped all motion, staring at the tub. I waited for them to turn on me and instead they looked at me like puppies getting a bone.
Mindi took off her hat and smoothed down her long black curls. She gave me a pat on the shoulder."Yes. That's exactly what happened. Why didn't you say so newbie. We should have remembered that. Dang girl, you sure you were a murder virgin? Let's get cleaned up and go back to base."
We stripped down and tossed our clothes back in the bag and folded up the bloody curtain. We put the party clothes back on and snuck down the stairs and across the lawn into the night.
****************************************
So now you know the first of my dirty little secrets. I'm not proud, although I did save the day and stop the robots from destructing. But yeah, not proud. Are you getting the picture here? But as bad as that was, it's not my worst moment. Not by a longshot. And Tiffani must be killed. Surely your believing me now right?
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I Gotta Kill the Prom Queen
HumorBeing second in command is a hard job. Looking amazing (but just a little less amazing than the Tiffany the current queen), swallowing your pride when belittled, and making fun of everyone beneath your standard group even when they are probably coo...