I Gotta Kill the Prom Queen

Ch. 24 Rollin in the Deep

It wasn't easy to take a shower but I did manage to get in and out without screaming, much. While I was in there Ronald texted that he had his upcoming date covered and didn't need assistance. I called him anyway. Leaving it to chance wasn't going to cut it.

Ronald had gotten tickets to the annual golf club charity ball from Tina Pern.  Her parents were supposed to go until Tina's brother fell off a horse and broke both legs causing him to be in traction.  I made a mental note to become friends with Tina when this was all over. Parents who cancelled plans for their injured child...they were either saints or aliens.

The greatest thing about the charity ball was that no one could buy tickets.  Everyone paid for the ball and the guest list was a combination of lottery luck and a rotational guest list.

It's rumored that the current club secretary Betty puts everyone's name she doesn't hate on a dartboard and practices her aborigine blow darts at the board. Whichever name she hits- gets tickets.

I don't know if it's true or not. My parents wouldn't be caught dead at a club. My dad says spending money to show you have money is a form of ego self gratification equal to a pre-pubescent teen boy in the shower. Gross. But I can see his point.  I've seen caddyshack. Ugly stuff happens when it becomes a game of who has more. Just the stuff Tiffani loves.

I'm so proud of Ronald I could kiss him.  Wait. I did. Sigh. It was warm and wonderful. No! I'm not getting off track. Tonight is way too important.

There was no way I could get into the ball to Keep tabs on the date, but I was going to have to set up the after date. Tiffani would go out afraid and knowing just how bad karma can bite you in the ass when you're a horrible person. Maybe I'd get the same sentence. After all, I'm the one planning the latest murder but there has to be some mercy when you're committing one act of evil to stop an entire life's worth. Right?

I get myself down to the basement and grab my dad's old hockey bag. I say a silent prayer it's just big enough to fit the pig in and line it with garbage bags before hitting my app to call an Uber. Between the hardware store to pick up all the paint and rope and the stopping at the butchers to pick up the pig I'd be cutting it close.

I call the leader of the robot girls and make sure Mindi is still on board and take my time going to the door. Something in me wants to take my time.

I straighten my room and make sure to hide my journal/hate book full of all of the horrible things I've done that's taken me from nerd to queen in waiting and hide it in the ceiling tile.

I have no reason for doing any of this. It's a failsafe plan and I know everything is going to work out fine, but it never hurts to dot your eyes. What if I fall off the ladder and end up in traction like the kid with the good parents? 

Believe me, I'll be dragging my broken legs and my sore upper torso across the grass I'd make out point to make sure Tiffani's reign of horror ends today. Even if it's my last great deed, I am going to use every bit of energy to make sure the ending of this story is the end of Tiffani.

The car waiting outside text alerts and I grab my black hoodie off the back of my desk chair before closing the door behind me.

First stop: hardware store.

A cute guy is working and my day gets brighter. He's like the guy from the Target commercial- Alex but with an added dose of testosterone and an extra layer of muscles.

"Can I help you?"

I think of Ronald who is probably holding on to Tiffani's waist and shoulders even as I stand there and it makes me feel angry. It isn't Ronald's fault, Tiffani has a knack for making people owe her, the proof is in the nightmares I have of  Marta looking like a drag queen game show host while limping on broken heels.

"Yes Please. I'm gonna need some rope. String rope, and at least a gallon of whatever paint looks most like blood."

His face becomes a mask of questions but his mouth curls into a grin I'm pretty sure I could live in.

"Don't tell me. Senior prank. Am I right?"

Strangely I am filled with a desire to hug him and pinch his cheeks. Since I'm not a hundred years old I just twirl my hair and giggle instead.

"You got me.  No details to give. Can you help me out?"

He swaggers to the rope aisle and take about things I have no interest in like torque and strands of bands for strength before he takes mercy on my blank face and hands me a heavy yellow rope that feels like it's taken a bath in plastic. It's perfect and just holding it in my hands makes me sure it's just right to get the job done.

I follow Darren (that's his name- it's on his tag) to the paint section where he grabs a can f white paint and a tiny colored card off the wall of their deepest red and hands it to the lady who runs the machine that makes the color.

"Anything else?"

I don't really need anything else but I also don't want Darren to leave so I take my time thinking of the plan hoping there's one more item I haven't thought of.

"Nope. I guess that's it. Thanks for the help Darren."

He glances at his Name tag and shoots me a Hollywood smile before slowly backing up down the aisle where mostly clueless looking men are staring at containers of nails.

I pay for the rope and paint and it's back out to the Uber to finally get this plan in motion. Last stop on the train that's destroying my life. And of course, it involves a pig!

#######################
Little did I know those would be my last purchases in the free world. Maybe had I known I would have been a little bolder and got Darren's number.  It really did seem perfect at the time. There was only one thing I didn't plan on and it's about to bite me in the ass.
I can't believe your still reading this. It's because you love Tiffani and the robot girls right?  Maybe they're entertaining- and I just lost sight of it. It's hard to remember now.