Prompts - 2016

Day 03 - A Letter To My Parents

For my mother,

We didn't always get along, you and I. We butt heads a lot and I eventually moved out to live with my dad... I know how much that hurt you now. I'm sorry I haven't always been the easiest child and I'm sorry for being even more difficult as an adult. I'm so very thankful for you, though, and everything that you've ever done for me. When dad and I had our falling out, there you were, ready to pick up the pieces. I knew that you had anticipated the worst - you had warned me - but you never said "I told you so." You don't know how grateful I've always been for that. 

Mom, you are my salvation, my guardian angel, and honestly, the closest thing to heaven I might ever receive. You are a gift, and I love you so very much. People always say that fathers and daughters have a special bond. I guess I'm the luckiest girl on earth since I had a chance to bond with my dad and you. I'm glad we're so close now and I'm lucky to be able to call you my best friend. 

I love you Mom, more than you'll ever know. 

To the moon and back and to infinity and beyond,

-Your baby girl.

--

For my father, 

I don't hate you, you know - and I hope that you don't hate me. I know that a lot of our struggles with getting along have to do with her, and that's fine, but stop cutting me out. That is the main issue of ours, not the distance, not the woman you want me to call mom, not even her treatment of me, but the lack of communication and the desperate way you choose to detach from me - that's the nail on the coffin. It hurts, Dad, because I still love you even when I'm not sure if you still love me. 

Sometimes I wonder if you wish that you could go back in time, erase the part where you married my beautiful mother, and rewrite her there. Ouch, right? Imagine if you had grown up thinking that about your parents. You were lucky yours divorced when you were older, practically moved out of their house already. Sucks that I wasn't so lucky. 

I question my feelings for you constantly, jumping back and forth from hating you (not really) to desperately seeking for your attention. I shouldn't have to beg for you to love my brother and I. You should have never put me in that position. 

And yet, I still don't hate you. I could never hate you. It sucks that I can remember the way you used to be, though. I miss that guy. 

There's too much I want to write and tell you, Dad, but not enough time... and I have little effort left for someone who doesn't even have the time to call. 

I love you, though. Forever and always, right?

-Me