Jeremy #Wattys2016

Chapter 7

At what point did you realize that your fairy tale wouldn't have a happy ending? Was it when the love words seemed anchored to each other's tongues, or was it when you became numb to the things you once cried for?

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Xavion's P.O.V.

I've always hated losing more that I loved to win; maybe that's what kept me playing our love game for as long as I did. I felt like I had something to prove, not only to you, but to myself too. Having bitten your forbidden fruit, I was entangled in the essence of who you were, our possibilities, and the faith I had kept in our love. I needed to beat that sentence of damnation - the doom that you foreboded, the doubt that even I was scared to admit, and the pains that crippled us both. So love is indeed a drug, and like an addict's first hit, the hug it gave me, just would not let me go.  

The days all seemed to fuse together. Before I knew it, I had just spent the first year of forever, with the man I wanted to be with everyday until then. Even though things weren't perfect, they seemed to be working and that's all that mattered or at least that's what I told myself. Looking back at it now though, that day perfectly plotted the trajectory that sealed our fate. A day that was supposed to filled with celebration, quickly descended into arguments and cold good nights. While this blank space upon which I write, provides the thread for me to weave our story into words, I think that continuing to tell this tale filled with sorrow, anger and words that should have been left unsaid, diminishes the beauty that came from our crossed paths. 

There is a Jeremy somewhere out there who's broken my heart, but better yet, there's a Jeremy out there who's granted me my first experience of love; a love that has taught me perseverance, but also when to say enough is enough and it's okay to let go. While this may be abrupt and not the ending I had ever envisioned, enough tears have been laced into the pages of our broken masterpiece. I am choosing to be the beauty that rises out of the ashes; my growth as a being, the reward of this pregnant pause. I am choosing to love you in spite of our newfound distance; forgiveness for both you and myself beams through my pores. We were both right and we were both wrong, but at least we both tried........

To you the the reader, thank you for embracing and embarking upon this short-lived journey with me. As I have stated in the previous chapters, this book is really dear to my heart and details one of the most difficult, beautiful and unexpected periods of my life. These past few months have been the most lesson filled that I've ever experienced. Losing a relationship, friendships and even loved ones did become all too overwhelming for me and forced me into hiatus, but I am stronger now! I hope that my creative juices continue to flow and that my stories continue to not only entertain you but inspire you as well. I Love you guys......