The Gifted [INDEFINITE HIATUS]

1 • Elayne

Note: I have unpublished the prologue. But if you read it before and were intrigued, I have published a prequel (titled Flawed) with that girl from the prologue as the main character.

Every morning, I like to make a wish on the rising sun.

I know, wishes are supposed to be made on shooting stars. But what's the point of that? They're fleeting, only gigantic hunks of rock burning up while entering the atmosphere. The sun, on the other hand, is eternal. It'll rise above the horizon every day for the rest of my life and will continue to do so even after I'm gone. To me, the rising sun signifies new beginnings. It tells me that even during dark times, the light will come again.

On the day of the Examination, I wake up just before dawn, like I usually do. And, like every day, I sit in front of my window for a few minutes to watch the sunrise. As the sun peeks over the horizon, its warm, golden glow spreads across its surroundings, eventually permeating my room and bathing me in light.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. Today, as I have for the past several weeks, I wish to do well on the Examination. My test results will determine my whole future, setting me on a career path that I will have to follow for the rest of my life. It's seemed like a distant event for so long, something I didn't need to worry about until later, when I'm older, even though my teachers started prepping us for it at the beginning of this year. It feels like barely any time has passed since then, but the school year is now drawing to a close, bringing the Examination with it. I'm not ready for this. I've been preparing for months and months, yet I don't feel prepared.

My eyes flicker open, focusing on the sun as it slowly climbs up the sky. It all comes down to today. It doesn't matter that I'm not prepared. I have to do well on this test, or I literally won't have a future other than unemployment and depending on my parents until they die. This might very well be the most stressful moment of my life.

Stressed is the perfect word to describe me this morning as I get ready for the day. I have never felt this way before, clammy palms and constricted breaths and a sensation of dizziness, as if the world is spiraling into insanity. The only thing occupying my mind is the Examination, my thoughts a constant loop of what if this and what if that. This must be why some people have lobbied for the discontinuation of these tests in the past. It's too much pressure put on fifteen-year-olds, with much too high stakes.

I try to take deep, calming breaths as I go through my daily morning routine. I can't focus on anything--brushing my teeth with the back of the brush for a solid minute before it clicks that I'm holding it upside down, washing my face and then trying to dry it with toilet paper instead of a towel, completely undressing myself in the bathroom before I realize that I showered last night, putting on my shirt inside out and backwards--it's a miracle that I don't try to pull my leggings on over my head. Thank god I had the forethought to pick out my clothes the night before, or I might have turned up at the test in my pajamas.

Our school teachers have spent hours over the past few months teaching us techniques to relieve stress, but it's all flying out of my head. Maybe that's a sign that I'm going to fail, I think, suddenly panicking. All that information I've been studying will just fly out of my brain when I'm actually taking it.

Then I shake my head, gritting my teeth in frustration. Shut up and get it together, I order myself. Focus. As if to punctuate the emphatic thought, I yank my hairbrush extra hard through my long, dirty blonde locks, yelping when it catches in a particularly tangled knot.

I still feel like my brain is warring with itself when I head down for breakfast. My stomach has started to ache, like I'm going to throw up. That's just another side effect of stress, I know, but it's still difficult to force a piece of toast down my throat.