The Reality of Now

Eight

"Hey, I'm a little busy mourning the death of a fictional character right now," Ruby told me, answering the phone, "but what's up?"

I explained to her why I called.

"I'm so sorry Saya," Ruby insisted, voice suddenly sympathetic. "I really want to be there for you, but today just won't work. I hope you understand."

"Yeah," I replied, sighing. "Thanks anyway."

"Maybe I could stop by after?" She offered. "When is it supposed to end?"

I told her the time and she promised that she would try and get there, but told me not to get my hopes up.

I hung up and tossed my phone onto my bed. There was a knot growing in my stomach: today was the day my parents would officially be divorced. I asked Ruby to pick me up afterwards, but she was busy.

Looking in the mirror, I pulled awkwardly at my dress. It was light pink and lacy, falling to just above my knees. It covered my collar bones and arms in a see through lace, unlike the rest of it that was solid. I tightened the thin brown belt that rested on my waist, and slipped on the black flats I kept in my closet.

I ran a hand through my hair anxiously for the umpteenth time that morning, and glanced out the window. Fittingly enough, the clouds overhead were a dark grey, promising a summer rain later on.

Picking up my purse and putting my phone inside, I slid it onto my shoulder. The only other thing in there was the sixth Harry Potter book. With all the confusion of the last few days, I've had plenty of time to read.

With the feeling of zero preparation, I headed downstairs to face the day.

Dad and I didn't talk at all during the ride to the court house. I kept trying to say something, but I couldn't make my mouth work. Instead I stared out the window, not tearing my eyes from the grey sky.

Suddenly the car stopped, and I realized we were there. Anxiously, I adjusted my purse and climbed out of the car.

Just before we headed inside, I hugged Dad tight. "I love you," I said into his shoulder.

He hugged me back, warm and comforting. "I love you too, sweetheart. Now let's get inside, it's going to rain."

I sat in the back again, not letting myself get too close to my parents. Sachi glared at me when she walked inside, her arm linked with Kenzou's. I didn't have the energy to do anything mean back, so I just looked the other way.

I tried to read like I did last time I was here, but it was too hard to focus. My thoughts were flying so fast that I could hardly keep up with them. I only managed a few pages. But I couldn't pay attention to what was going on at the front either. So I was left nervously tapping my fingers on the bench and trying not to cry, or maybe even throw up.

My parents used to be happy. Like, go out every week for date night happy. Send you flowers on a Monday happy. But then something changed, something I didn't notice because I was struck in my blind side. And now I was here, at their official divorce.

When I was younger, a lot of my friends' parents got divorced. Faith's parents broke up before she was born, and Carly's dad was currently on wife number five. Despite all of that surrounding me, I never thought my parents would get to that point. Unfortunately, I was wrong.

Sooner than I could ever want, the time came to sign the papers. Even though my mom and dad's signatures flew across the sheets, it felt like years as I watched.

As my dad finally lifted his pen, a breath I hadn't realized I was holding escaped my throat. I held the bridge of my nose, trying to blink away my tears. This wasn't happening. I thought desperately. How did it come to this? It can't be real.