Broken Serenity

Stupid Girl

Rachel stared motionlessly at the doctor stood before her.

Cancer.

Cancer.

Cancer?!

Her eyes widened the more she thought about the word. It was so... so... wrong.

Rachel Berry and Cancer?

That wasn't planned.

A-and how? How did she have cancer?!?! She was always so healthy. She exercised, had a healthy diet, she hadn't had sex yet. How?!

A small cry escaped Shelby's lips, and she hurriedly left the room, pulling Rachel out of her nightmarish thoughts. Aria was sat beside Rachel, head bowed, tears sliding down her pale cheeks and her body shaking as she cried silently.

Puck was stood there in shock, staring at Rachel, and Rachel stared back for a few minutes.

The doctor was the one who broke the sad, stunned silences.

"Perhaps I should leave you alone for a moment." he said. Rachel glanced at him, and then down to her bed sheets. "No." she said firmly.

No-one spoke.

"I can't die," she said shakily as she picked at a loose string on the covers.

There was a slight shuffle, as someone moved. "Miss Berry...” Rachel glanced up, and bit her lip. "Yes?" she questioned meekly.

Something wet was making its way down her face, and Rachel hastily wiped it away.

"We can discuss treatment, but I think it's best you take a while to let the news sink in. If you go charging ahead now you might make a decision you'll regret later on."

Rachel nodded numbly towards the doctor. "OK," she said quietly.

The elderly man nodded, "I'll be back later," he replied, before leaving the room.

As soon as the door swung to a shut, Rachel realized just how quiet it was. Aria sat up straighter, and began chewing her lip nervously.

Rachel found herself looking at Puck.

He was stood still, arms crossed. His face looked torn between confusion and anger.

“Noah,” Rachel called quietly. He didn’t move.

Rachel sat up. “Noah.”

Puck jumped a little. His face changed into a look of sadness. “Yeah?” he asked.

Rachel frowned. “Perhaps you should take Aria home,” she said softly, glancing at the young girl sat beside her. Puck frowned, as he looked at his sister, who was oblivious to all that was happening. “I suppose,” he sighed.

Aria glanced up at that moment, startled. “What?” she asked, realizing all eyes were on her. Puck shook his head, “Nothing, kid.”

Rachel smiled comfortingly and patted Aria’s hand.

The door swung open, and a red faced Shelby stepped into the room. And despite all that had happened, Rachel felt glad to see her. Shelby smiled nervously. “I-I’m sorry,” she stuttered.

Rachel ducked her head. “It’s OK.”

Shelby took a breath. “I have to go pick Beth up.”

“I’ll go with you,” Puck said quickly. Rachel scowled. He could be so selfish at times.

“I’ll take Aria home first, though,” he sighed, frowning at Rachel.

That was better.

Suddenly, Rachel was hit with a sudden fear. She’d be left alone. That meant talking about the… thing, alone.

Rachel glanced up at Puck with wide eyes.

Don’t leave me. She thought, willing Puck to understand. Puck tilted his head at her.

“Noah,” Rachel began.

“I’ll be back in half an hour, OK, Rachel?” He did understand.

Rachel nodded wildly. “OK.” Puck nodded, before leaving the room, Shelby and Aria following glumly.

The door swung shut once again and Rachel was left alone.

Rachel stared at the deep green curtains hung on the wall. They were the only color in the white room. White was rapidly becoming her least favorite color. It was too bright. And they must use some sort of bleach to wash the walls, for there was a lemony smell in the room that was making her head spin.

Rachel’s eye wandered around the room, as she took in the news. Rachel’s clothes were slung over a chair, instead of folded up neatly, and the empty chair besides the one Aria had been sat in, looked squished, although it had molded around someone’s body.

Rachel settled down in her bed and sighed as she stared at the ceiling.

She soon shot back up, as a bust of pain exploded in her stomach. She caught sight of a small bowl type thing. Quickly she picked it up and threw up. She took a shuddering breath a few minutes later. Her throat was burning.

A nurse soon bustled into the room, and gently pried the bowl out of Rachel’s tight grip. “It’s OK, honey,” she said soothingly, rubbing Rachel’s back.

Rachel lay back onto her bed, as the nurse pushed a button and Rachel took a few deep breaths; her body relaxing. “Better?” The nurse asked. Rachel nodded slowly, as her eyes slowly began to close.

“Is Noah here?” she asked tiredly. The nurse shook her head, “No, I’m sorry, honey.”

Rachel just nodded tiredly, feeling rather rejected and snuggled down into her blankets as her eyes shut completely.

It was dark, when Rachel next awoke. She could still hear the rustling as people moved about in the corridors, and she was vaguely aware of some sort of comfort around her.

It was then, in the dark cold room, that Rachel realized what was happening.

She was dying. She might never make it to New York. And her fathers... oh gosh, her fathers. After all they went through to get her…

But no, She was Rachel Berry, damn it. She was a fighter. She survived ice cold drinks thrown at her face, she survived Quinn, and Puck and heartbreak. She could survive this… right?

She wasn’t so sure any more. And she was so so tired.

Rachel gasped a little, realizing she’d been holding her breath. She took another breath, but it came out as a sob. A broken sob from a broken hearted girl whose dreams had just been shattered.

Rachel curled up into a ball, and sobbed into her pillow.

She was such a stupid, stupid girl for believing everything would be OK