Asuka: Island of Shadows

chapter 4

Chapter 3

Satoru

I watched as Hikairi slowly went back to sleep. I sighed, relieved. It was a wonder to me how she could be bruised that badly, and not have noticed until she woke up.

I also wondered if it was my fault. Hikairi had wanted to stop before, find shelter, and I had pushed her on. When she'd finally collapsed, I'd carried her to the cave, which had been five hours away, much longer than I had thought.

It was strange to think how much we'd both changed over the past year.

A year ago, I never spoke to her; a year ago, her Grandmother Haruki hardly knew a thing about me; a year ago, she had been just another friend.

But now there was a strange feeling in my heart when I looked at her. It was almost an uncomfortable one, but at the same time it was one of the best things I'd felt in a long time.

But it couldn't happen now. If we had been safe, then perhaps I could have thought more on the feeling, and discovered why it was I was acting the way I was, and why I felt so uncomfortable when Hikairi smiled at me, or why I shivered when she touched my hands.

I sighed again and began to dish myself up some of the food I had heated. Haruki was a wonderful cook, and I was relieved that she had sent food with us, because I couldn’t cook at all, and I didn’t know if Hikairi could.

Strange, I only knew the things about Hikairi that she told me, or that I had noticed while I watched her and followed her for all those years.

Sadly though, I knew she knew less about me than I did about her. I hadn’t spoken often before, and I think the change shocked her.

The look on her face in the moonlight that night when we had a conversation, it was like she was asking herself where I had become so different.

I still felt a bit concerned that she would no longer feel so close to me now that I had changed so much. She hadn’t shown a sign of this so far, but I felt sure it was only a matter of time. And I'd been acting so stupidly, saying things that I didn't understand . . .

I was sure she had noticed.

I sighed and pushed my fork through food on my plate. I couldn’t bring myself to eat it, and I couldn’t bring myself to sleep.

I knew I needed it, I hadn’t slept since yesterday, and it was almost tomorrow, when we would leave. I hoped to make it to Sakarin village in at least a week, and at most two, but unless the storm ended soon, it would be much longer.

Hikairi sighed in her sleep, and a faint smile appeared on her face. I stared at her in fascination. She was so beautiful. I had forgotten since last year how lovely she had always been, with her light brown hair, pale creamy skin and blueish silver eyes.

I came back and found her nearly grown, slender and tall, her hair to her waist, eyes brighter than ever, and I felt myself freeze, forgetting everything.

I sometimes frightened myself with things like this. I had never ever thought about any pretty girl like this before. But now I noticed her every movement, and when she smiled at me, I wanted to hold her close to me, and feel her heart beating against mine.

And yet at the same time I always berated myself for these thoughts, telling myself that if she fell in love with some other boy, I needed to be able to be happy for her.

I knew it would be a hard thing to do, but it was only right. It wasn't as though she was my property, and she had every right to choose her own path.

In some ways, I wondered if she felt the same. Haruki had told me after I led Hikairi home the day I met her, that I would always be needed by their family. I hadn’t known what she meant then, and I didn’t know now.