Tip of the Tongue [BoyxBoy - Complete - CMS Bk. 1]

Chapter 25

Chapter 25

The sun had set hours ago. The moon was nowhere to be found, lost in the sea of dark clouds that blanketed the sky. Ren faced the opening of the cave, his back to the farthest wall. He looked like he might have been keeping watch while Ashton laid on the ground a few feet away from him, but he wasn't at all focused. He stared into the dark forest while his mind was still stuck on the kiss.

The second kiss.

The first one had been chaste, something he might have been able to forget in time. The second one, however, had been fierce, rougher than Ren knew a kiss could be. It was muddled by the blood lust after Ashton had drank from him. A sort of high that probably made things seem better than they actually were.

Not probably. It most definitely made the kiss better than it was. After everything, it made him feel guilty. He didn't like having these feelings. It was awful to look at Ashton now and see something he wanted, to not have it, and be shamed for wanting it.

It couldn't make up his mind what was the worst thing about having a thing for Ashton Mantel, but there were too many things wrong with it in the first place that it didn't seem to matter.

Two kisses. Two times Ashton had pressed his lips to Ren's. Two times Ashton got mad at Ren as if it was him who'd had done it.

He groaned, dropping his head to his folded arms on top his knees.

This was what he was going to do. He was going to pretend none of it had happened. Or rather, he was going to pretend he didn't like the kisses.

Because that was the bigger issue. Maybe it was wrong of Ashton to go around kissing him like he had permission. Actually. It was wrong of him. There was issues with consent and all that though Ren wasn't really hung up on it.

He wasn't angry that Ashton had kissed him out of the blue. He should be. Ashton had no right.

He wasn't though.

He liked it. He wanted to do it again.

That was the big problem and he couldn't do shit about it. His feelings weren't an off and on switch he could go fiddling around with. He wasn't some machine who had feelings only when it was convenient for him.

He let out a dark chuckle.

It would be nice to have that power. He'd do anything to be a mindless robot who didn't think about everything and just did what was right.

His pitiful laugh died off. He turned his head so his cheek was pressed to his forearm.

Ashton had his back turned to Ren. He was asleep. His body rose up and down in a steady rhythm. His clothes were in a disarray. There were streaks of mud all over the back of his shirt, the bottom of his pants were torn on the left leg, and his shoes had most definitely seen better days.

Ren was surprised he'd managed to fall asleep after the ordeal the two of them had gone through. But he must have been exhausted. While feeding had healed him, he still needed to rest.

Ren couldn't help it if he watched Ashton far longer than he should have. There was something about the way he looked, even with his back facing Ren, that made it seem like maybe Ashton wasn't really all that bad. It was wishful thinking. Ashton had shown time and time again that even if there was something happening between the two of them, it wasn't going to work out.

He turned the other way.

He had more choices to decide.

Did he really mean it when he said he would save Ashton?