If I Could Fly // h.s.

Chapter 14

After two hours of going into excruciating detail with Nichole about everything that happened between me and Harry the last couple of days, we are finally caught up. 

"Holy shit, Mel," she says, still in a state of shock. "This is insane. I mean I think he's falling for you.. Like hard. But have you told him anything about your life? Like does he know about everything you left back in the states?"

"He knows a tiny bit. He knows I had a relationship I was getting away from... And he knows I'm not in a great place with family back home. But I don't really see the need to drag him into all the gory details, you know? I mean why can't he just know this me, without all the shit that I left behind?" I shake my head, as if I can physically shake away all the memories swimming through my mind.

"Because I think this one will stick around, lovey. He is seriously into you. And as much as I love that you've made a fresh start here- and I do. I'm so happy that you have found family that care about you and treats you the way family is supposed to treat you- You aren't going to be able to hide here forever." Nichole pauses to take a deep breath. "Amelia, you love your mom. I know she spent most of your life in a daze and I know it wasn't fair to you... isn't fair to you. But you love her, babe. She's your mother. One day, you'll want to face the music. Just don't wait until then to be honest with Harry. He deserves more than that if you're going to keep going with this."

"Cole, it's not even that serious. We barely  know each other!!" I exclaim, hoping this conversation is almost over. I mean really... I've had this guy in my life for a week or so and already my best friend is wanting us to exchange baggage? No, thank you.

"Mark my words, best friend.... This isn't a typical relationship. I don't think this one is going to back down so easy when you start pulling your shit with him," she cocks an eyebrow and smirks at me.

"What shit? What are you on about?" I roll my eyes.

"You know damn well what shit! You'll start pulling back and going all awkward around him. He somehow has managed to keep you in a bubble since you've hardly had any time apart, but it's only a matter of time before you have a while to start overthinking everything and when that happens, you'll go right back into defense mode."

"Well I'm so glad you know how every aspect of my fucking life is going to play out, Nichole," I say a bit louder than I intended.

She moves closer to me on the bed and puts her arm around me just as I feel an unwanted tear fall down on my cheek. "I'm not going to fight with you, Mel. I only want what's best for you. We will get through this just like we did all the shit back home. Except this time, you have all the best things going for you. I'm not letting you fuck this up. You deserve good things. You just have to accept that for yourself."

Sobs start to wrack through my chest as I cry in my best friend's arms. I nod and let her rock and comfort me while I let it all out. She's right. She's always right. Maybe this time can be different. Maybe that other shoe won't drop. I just know this... if it does, there will be no coming back from it. It's easier when you become accustomed to the bad hand you're dealt. You don't expect more because more is never an option, so you keep going. You exist without living and that becomes okay. But now.. now I've seen better. I've let myself experience things and feel things. What will I do if that get's ripped out from under me? How do you go back to existing once you've lived for a day? How do you go back to walking once you've flown?

"Get out of that head. It's not a safe place... For ANYONE," she laughs before releasing me and pulling us both up off the bed. How about we throw on some suits and go lay out for a bit. I'm too exhausted to do much else."

Holy shit. It clicks. "NICHOLE... What did you do last night?!?!"

"Get your suit on and maybe I'll tell you," she winks before sauntering off into the bathroom to change.