Ιтѕ υѕ αgαιиѕт тнє ωσяℓ∂

Chapter 3

Sheas P.O.V

I know its getting to him.

I know why he has been so angry.

Being on the road, not being able to see Lisa and his dad.

Losing Casper as a friend.

And dealing with me lastly.

I fell awful. This is ALL my slutty ass's fault. If only I made up my mind, this whole thing would have never happened. I don't know why I did the things I did. I don't know why I played with Seth and Casper. I wish I never met them both, just to avoid all of this. As much as I love Seth, I don't deserve him. But here I am, laying in bed with this amazing guy, and I don't deserve it at all.

I look over at Seth, hes sleeping; peacefully of course, and then here I am, not sleeping at all.

"You know Im not gonna disappear right?" Seth says in a croaky sleepy voice. Im flustered as he catches me staring and I just look away.

"Pfft I know this, I was just looking at the pimple on your forehead." I say with a smirk, and holy shit did he get up fast and run to the bathroom.

"You fucking liar!" He yells to me from the bathroom. I just sit there in a fit of giggles.

"Not cool Shea" He says genuinely upset as he walks back into the room.

"Damn sorry Mr. Grumpy. Didn't know you'd get so damn offended.

I look up at him and watch as he grabs a cig out of his leather jacket. I watch him light it in the room and roll my eyes.

"Really Seth?" I asked annoyed.

"Maybe if you didn't stress me out I wouldn't need these." He says before taking a deep drag and then letting the smoke slowly escape his lips. It swirling around into my breathing air.

"If I didn't stress you out huh? If im so bad Seth why don't you just fucking leave!" I yell at him and he throws his head back with a laugh.

"You couldn't make it without me Shea. If it wasn't for me you'd probably still be in that damn basement getting raped by Casper everyday. So you're fucking welcome" I watch in shock, tears filling up in my eyes. I can't believe he just fucking said that to me.

"W-What the fuck is wrong with you!?" I yell at him, a tear falling down my cheek.

"You." He says to me before taking another drag.

"Fine then i'll fucking leave." I say to him getting up. My arms and hands and legs frantically getting everything thats mine packed. Just as im about to leave he grabs my wrist yanking me back.

"Where the actual fuck do you think you're going?" He asks as he blows the smoke in my face. His forehead furrowed, his eyes as cold as ice as he looks at me. They where so empty and not the eyes I had remembered. This wasn't my Seth anymore.

"Anywhere but here Seth." I say and pull my wrist back, a warm tear with every single emotion I was feeling running down my pale cheek.

"You're funny" He says as he watches me walk away before he takes another puff of his poisonous cigarette.

"I have all the money prick" I say as I wave him off with the middle finger, my small hands then grabbing all it could tightly as I started my walk down the deserted road.

I don't even glance back at him, my small body carrying all of my luggage and money and literally everything I could grab in my fit of anger.

I can feel the furrows in my forehead becoming permanent.

I can feel the trail from where that single tear had fallen

And lastly i can feel my already crippled heart completely shatter.

It wasn't about Casper and Ashley anymore. It was about Seth and me and how the fuck we ended up like this.

He didn't come after me this time.

He wasn't following behind me telling me to come back.

He didn't care.

And to be honest with you.

I dont blame him.

Who could love me? Why would he love me or want anything to do with me after everything I put him through?

This is all my fault and I don't blame him for hating me. I deserved all of this.

He was right too. If it wasn't for him i'd still be in that damn basement getting touched and just...

I shivered wanting the thought out of my head.

"Where to now..?" I softly whispered to myself my bags dragging behind me. I stopped and looked around at my surroundings. I could still see the Motel me and Seth were staying at and I just started break down crying again. I missed my mom, I missed my dad, I missed Lisa. just wanted to go home and forget everything that was going on and everything that happened. I wish I never moved to that town and I wish my dad never died I wish I never met and hurt Seth. I wish I had never met Casper and Ashlee.

And lastly.

I wish I had never been born. II literally hate myself for everything that has happened.

Maybe if I was just gone everyone life would be so much better..